Croque Noir Poem by Sheena Blackhall

Croque Noir is the old French term for mortician, from the mediaeval practice of biting the toes of the deceased to ensure the person was dead. The following euphemisms for death are all found inscribed on tombstones in Allenvale Cemetery, Aberdeen.

Hector Macdonald, piper
He walked with the Lord
Through hard times.
Toes like a horse's hoof.

George Morrice, trawlerman
Dropped anchor after his thirteenth pint
Gout in every toe joint

Sarah Gillies, hatter
Passed over by everybody
Short changed in the looks department
Toes so long they could have plucked a harp

William Fyfe, Police Constable
Entered into bliss
After a life of hard knocks
Size nines callused with pounding the beat

Frieda Gillanders, tightrope walker
Taken home by Jesus
As a result of fallen arches

David Cruickshank, flesher
Fell asleep in bed
Toes as pink as Ruben cherubim

Mary Rose, barmaid
Called home after last orders
Bunions big as cauliflowers

Flt Lieut. Gordon Short
Died 1980
Ten toes, all present and accounted for
No piggy took them to market
They left in a wooden box.