Crimes of the Century
How is it that there is no room at the penitentiary
For those committing such crimes of the century?
Surely the public can’t continue to be left defenseless
Against those who continue to commit such offenses.
Surely something must be done to the repeat offenders,
the reprobates, the law breakers, and the rule benders.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to not brush or floss,
Or to not gargle when they finally use their mouthwash.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to ignore the chore
Of picking up their dirty laundry and socks off the floor.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to give their soup a slurp,
To put their elbows on the table, or to let go of a burp.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to ride the elevator,
Let go of some flatulence, and lie about the origin later.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to not flush right after,
Or worse, not wash their hands with soap soon thereafter.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to use the last bit of paper
Be it toilet or printer, then quickly walk away from the caper.
Surely they just can’t be allowed in conversations to interrupt
Simply because they feel their patience badly want to erupt.
Surely they just can’t be allowed to have others read
That which they themselves simply refuse to proofread.
I say how is it that there is no room in the penitentiary
For these loose cannons, degenerates, and false gentry?
How is it that the public continues to be left defenseless
Against these menacing and heinous forms of offenses?
Surely something must be done to those who persist,
To commit the crimes of century I doth here list.
(c) 2013 Copyright Elena Plotkin
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