Crash Poem by Ocean Myranda

Many people try to be happy,
Some use sex and/or drugs,
Maybe, if I be around the right people,
I'll be happy, too, if for a second.

I don't want a short state of 'high',
I don't want to feel even more dirty,
I just want a happiness that lasts,
Can't anyone help me, before I crah? !

You're too busy, of course, my best friend,
You couldn't care less, figures, you are my ex,
You, well you're a jerk and don't understand,
Maybe, you could help? If not it's cool.

I'll eventually find my happiness,
It's so easy to fake it at school,
Deep down, I'm dying slowly,
Just to keep my friends, I hide it.

Everytime I go to show myself,
Everyone runs away, I'm not a monster,
Am I? I thought I was just having problems,
Will no one understand?

I don't like to crash,
From 'happy' to complete depression,
Drugs and sex, still don't appeal to me,
Self mutilation, maybe I can give that a shot.

Physical pain, blocking emotional pain,
Such relief in this blade,
Was it the right thing to do?
Probably not, but who cares, no one knows.

I don't go around 'bragging' that I did this,
Why would I want anyone ruining my moment?
It might not be a good happiness, but it's better,
I'd rather be in physical pain, than crash again.

You don't understand, this is my 'high',
Sex won't help, drugs don't cut it,
Doing everything not to crash,
Will my 'happiness' last?