Coyote Ugly Poem by Chuck Toll

“I saw that film ‘Coyote Ugly, ” but I just didn’t get
the humor, ” the coyote groused to his therapist.
“Would waking up next to someone who looked
like us be so disgusting you’d chew off your arm
To escape before he woke up? Actually, I think
We’re rather sexy, in a dignified, furry sort of way.
And what’s with calling those barmaids ‘coyotes’
For dancing on the bar and shaking their little tushes?
We don’t go in for that. The only other coyote film
At Blockbuster was ‘Calling All Coyotes, ’ with a jerk
Named Randy showing nasty ways to lure us into his
Crosshairs. Well, they had Roadrunner cartoons too,
with Wylie Coyote playing the fool, as always. Jeez!
I tell you, we need lobbyists and a smart ad campaign! ”