Confessions Of A Sex Addict Poem by Laura Clayton

There are 124 notches in my bedpost, one for each man that I have slept with;
And if you looked closely, you would see your name next to the very first one.

It is proven that sex gives you a feeling of euphoria and releases endorphins;
Like when you hurt yourself as a child and got the motivation to carry on going.
Yet all I feel when I lay down with another stranger is homesick;
Because it is not your body on top of me,
It is not you inside of me,
It is not you screaming my name.

You are the only man I have slept with that I loved
But you broke my heart and I can’t put it back together again because you still have the shattered pieces.
Now I go through men like politicians go through money,
To try and recapture the way you once made me feel
But their bodies are not quite right, and I never know where to put my hands.
And when they say “I love you” afterwards, the voice is off key.
With you, sex was always beautiful and magical-
Now it just feels dirty and wrong,
But I keep taking my clothes off to pretend that I am loved.