Confession: Last Days In The Cell. Poem by kafil uddin raihan.

In these last days of life,
I see my sins in front of me,
Joking and laughing at me.
In this closed cell of mine,
I curse myself for that night,
For being a killing machine.
I have lost my every thing,
My lovely wife, my daughter,
All are now far away from me,
But once they belonged to me,
They loved me as i do them,
They cared for me as I do,
All these has changed suddenly,

I still see the moment,
I was killing those four,
For the pleasure of my boss,
My boss, my godfather,
He has used me only,
He made be ambitious,
He made me a guinea pig.
Every day I just obeyed him,
I did all for me, for my family,
I thought him a god for me,
As I always afraid of poverty,
I never wanted my daughter
to grow up in any lacking,
But only a few days later,
She will in lacking of her papa,
How funny, surprising our fate is!

I see my wife's crying face,
My sweet girl have no love now,
There are hates only for me,
I know, She will never forgive me,
Never for killing those four,
Never for destroying her life,
Never for destroying my child's life.
What a mean cheater i am!
Cheated my wife, my daughter.
Even I have cheated myself too.
What have i gained after all these?
A death sentence? Waiting for death?
Thinking of past? Nothing more.

I know, God will never forgive me.
Would my wife forgive me?
Would my little daughter forgive me?
Will she think of me any day?

It has been a long time,
I have met my girl and wife.
They cried a lot in front of me,
Said that would not come again.
And even before my death,
My wife don't want to see me.
She don't want to have my touch
On our little daughter.

In these closed cell,
Life has become burden for me.
I am the man of hates to all.
Even to my wife, to my daughter.
What can one say me,
Am I a man? I don't think so.
I found myself more nasty than a beast.
What can I do? how can I testify
The rude cruel reality of mine?
Good by beautiful world,
Live a enlightened life
without this nasty insect.