Commuter Widow Poem by Steve Downes

Trainspotting
isn’t fun
not when she’s dead tired
arms of jelly
ears full of tears
baby wants
baby wants
pick the kids up
from school
strawberry jam
sandwiches uneaten
traffic jam
ma I’m hungry
baby wants
baby wants
make the dinner
bake the cake
bun in the oven
bending over
nightly shapes
the body pays the price
of new-born joy
headache
joyless
thankless
throb
9 to 5
paced out
on the kitchen floor
supermarket
chicken would be good
baby wants sweets
5 o’clock
tick tock
train halfway
baby straps
double check
throb
in at seven
should be six-thirty
commuter widow waits
for the daily rebirth
a partnership
what a day I’ve had love
he shallowly sits
TV
dinner
bed
make the shapes
if both are able
how did it come
to this
nearly dawn
where’s his tie
I used to be a woman
intelligent
bright
outgoing
he used to be a man
wide-eyed
unpredictable
caring
no time to care now
we used to be together
in this
this mess
baby just wants a hug

the question you didn’t answer
what’s left
?
when reality robs us of dreams
what do you see in me
lined
fatter
turning sour
at being cheated
and then depressed when
I realise I cheated myself
out of a better life
what’s left
over
?
what do you see
when you look at me
settlement
or
excitement

is it still there
is it still detectable
after all that has passed

baby wants

baby wants

baby wants a hug