College Heart Aches Poem by Nero CaroZiv

Morning glooms emerged stormy and waning pale
No light no sun but a wannish glare
In layers upon layers the gray clouds summons converged
And the budded peaks of the wood are dump cold congealed
Caught and cuffed by the cools gale
I had fancied it would be a spring day fair

As I flung myself down a craggy slope
Of bushes and outcrops
Ever muttered and madden and ever waned with despair
To attend a class of no slight interest or share
Whom but her should I meet


I the morning glooms when sunrise like sunset sank
In the blossomed gable-ends
At the head of the college street
Whom but her should I meet
And she touched me with a smile so sweet
That dwelt merely at the corner of her eyes
During which she kept her lovely lips tight
She made me divine amends
For a courtesy not returned


And as she passed me so suddenly and so swiftly
She left me with a delicate spark
Of glowing gnawing growing light
Through the long elongated lectures of the day
And the long live hours of the dark
Which kept itself warm in the core of my dreams
Ready to burst in a colored flame
Till at last the next morning came
In a cloud, it faded and seemed
But an ashen – grey delight


As gloom as that morning was
What if with her sunny hair
And smile as sunny as cold
She meant to weave me a snare
Of some coquettish deceit
Delilah like trick old
To beguile me and entangled me when we met
As a spider has its prey in a silken net
And fawn at the victor’s feet
To assume me just one of many at her treat
One of unanimous many who just written
One frivolous line in her book


Yet, if she were not a mirage or a cheat
If she were all that she seemed
And her divine face and beguiling smile were all that I dreamed
Then the world were not turn so bitter
And her smile like thousands suns would put it sweeter
Ah, a coal black raven ever croaks at a pine tree top
Keep a watch and ward on surge of overwhelming feelings at the back yard
Of one’s heart or you will prove their tool
Myself from myself I must guard
Beware the ways of man often his own angry vain pride trap
Is cap and bells for a fool

Yet sick, sick I am of jealous dread
That day and night plagued my head
I was walking less than a mile
More than a mile from my dormant door
Between the faint Carmel cloud and the moor
And treading the craggy landscape at the set long lectured day
Over the dark slanting moor land
Rapidly walking far a way
She acknowledged me with half hand
And there was another at her side
The new made suitor
A vainly appearing looker
Something flashed in the sun
And down the hill I saw them dodging
In a moment they were gone
Like a sudden swift spark
Struck vainly in the night
Then returned the dark
With no more hope of light

Left in dark silence alone
The curtains on the painful scenery drawn
Stand dam to the torrents of torture
The is being with them blotter
O let the solid ground
Not fail beneath my feet
Let my fragile form hold
The ripples of pain on my body enfold
Yet, silence around, what a beautiful voice
Be still and trouble my mind
With joy in which I cannot rejoice
On a glory I shall never find
Still I will hear her no more
For her sweetness hardly leaves me a choice
But to wander in vast fields and fall before
Her feet’s own trucks on the meadow’s grass
And adore not her, who is neither courtly nor kind
But her galloping phantom upon lea and lawn


Once, only once I approached her
Oh catch not my breath clamorous heart
I begged and plead in pitiful obsequiousness
Let not my tongue your own servant
Be a thrall to my eye
For I must tell her before she part
I must tell her or die
With the strange unfamiliar voice that struggled
Up my throat I asked her and she let me
I had lead her a part way, my love, my only friend
So swiftly the convey took over my mind
There was none like her, none
And never yet so warmly ran my blood
And sweetly on and on
Calming itself to the long wishes for end
Full to the banks close on the wishful
For in calm times in peaceful memories
The road still led to her
The chained heart always rebel back to her


None like her, none
We spoke as two long time acquaintances
As she paced her light legs along the gravel walk
And it shook my heart to think what luck pebbles
Just awakened as we reached her dormant door
The gates of heaven were closed
And she was gone.


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