Cold Start Poem by Paul Reed

One of the worst tasks by far
Is having to defrost your car
When the windscreen is all full of ice
You'd agree it's not particularly nice

The wipers seem welded with superglue
To the glass and your hands are turning blue
As you scrape and rub and scratch away
Just like you had to yesterday

Then another problem you've been posed
The doors are apparently welded closed
You try and thaw out the lock with your lighter
But the frozen morning gets no brighter

Because when you finally wrench open the door
You fall backwards and fall on the floor
You dust yourself off and stagger back to your feet
To see frost scrapings all over the seat

Still, just wait till the engine is on!
You can get warmed up and sing a brave song
But, hang on a moment, you start to feel sick
When the ignition just gives an unhelpful dull 'click'

The battery's flat and even more apposite
You're rapidly losing the heart for the fight
You angrily kick out at the nearest wheel
But hurt your big toe, even though you cant feel

Anything in the rest of your toes or fingers
That numbingly cold sensation still lingers
Rub your hands together but still you miserably fail
To renew the circulation, its all to no avail

By now a full half hour has passed
Car still on the drive, patience running out fast
Best to give up now, set yourself free
And go back indoors for a nice cup of tea