Clear Sky Cluttered Heart Poem by Vanessa Kingsley

Such a beautiful breezy day
Birds sing away
Clear and bright
A different kind of light
Inside I’m not there
Looking into a world that isn’t mine
No sense in crying
But what else can I do
I was never truly whole
The one day it all seemed to make sense
Why such a clear sky?
With such a cluttered heart
Why a few moments of happiness?
Just to have it ripped it apart
Tears hit the page
Yet a smile lightens my face
So numb and nauseous
So confused and tired
I can’t eat or sleep
Think or drink
Be careful with a rose
Its thorns will make you bleed
I’d rather have the cuts and scars
Than just be allowed to see
I’d rather feel the pain right now
Than have felt nothing at all
I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt
But I’ll smile and go on
Nothing much I can do
In my mind I still say I love you
I have to lock it all away
Even though the memories will escape
How can I possibly regret a beautiful thing?
It was like the song a bird would sing
Strange how it ended to soon
Sad, on the terms too
Never regret anything in your life
This I surely don’t
I played with fire
And I got burned
It is all a lesson learned
But I’d do it all again
Oh, why, why, why?
Why would they give me such a clear sky
When they knew that I would cry
A broken cluttered heart
Left to fix itself
Time heals all wounds
After it lets them fester
No one said the tears were sad
I lost something I should’ve never had…
The sky is turning dark
The air is turning cooler
Above the moon shines
And inside we both remember.