Classroom Daydreams Poem by Leah Ayliffe

Love.
*It's supposed to be forever*
There is no lie so beautiful.
There are no words so fatal.


I had a dream that 'one hundred years went by*
I didn't notice because trees stay still.
My mortality took me by surprise
driving fast, I saw that I lost my youth
in the gutter, in the stars
It matters not.
When I woke I laid a while
staring at the ceiling.
We're at a loss with wasting time,
I don't know how to go about saving my own life.
*At risk of death*
What great benefit
to risk a whole life
and already knowing what it is to die.


She was *more expensive at the beginning*
She became *cheaper by the end*
She was adjustable,
to reflect the actual experience.
She was paid.
unaware of her value.


*Slow me down*
I'm screaming so loud inside my head for help
but no one hears the sound
'Cause I'm laughing drinking wine.
Sometime's one of them catches a glimpse
of the slow burning out of the shooting star.
Falling.
*In the right circumstance, it's a good thing*
but early on it's a tragedy.
*Can I afford* to put my thoughts on the line?
What if they're not returned - not even in an echo.
Let's say I buy your attention with sex
I stumble into affection with wealth,
can you put time into nurturing my mental health?
I have *withdrawn
and I can't pay the difference*
Designed to demonstrate the unusual undoings of a woman who loved the world so much,
seeing it destroyed cost her her sanity.
*I don't typically disclose that*
Essentially, I live just to have fun and endlessly create a life of art,
removed from the running river.
Borrowing words and style and images from others
to weave my own identity as a shelter.
I know you're lost too.
*Does that make sense? *
We will have that test tomorrow.
I beg of you, please.
Slow me down.


*Flexibility*
That's part of the story.
Riders know the dawn
as time goes by
I'm going to need more flexibility
to ensure your chains aren't mine.
*You have to die within the year*
an accidental death dear love.
Do not pretend to know me.
Though, you know me well,
Most well.
You do not know my chains.
Dear love, *they're so hard to qualify for*
and I will not let you feel their weight.
I have to prove I'm not faking it.
and you,
You *have to jump through hoops to prove you're not faking it*
Flexibility - accelerated freedom masking broken hearts.