Dana Georgekish

Rookie (March 7 1994 / Val'dor)

Chocolate cake


Chocolate cake, thats my style
Chocolate cake, good for awhile
Chocolate cake, it tastes so yummy
Chocolate cake, chocolate cake
Oh my Lord, My tummy aches

Submitted: Saturday, December 01, 2007
Edited: Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Form:


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  • Veteran Poet - 4,807 Points Bri Edwards (2/11/2013 1:43:00 AM)

    i like this, but i'd like it a lot better if you chopped the s off of aches. i also probably would have put tummy at end of fourth line somehow and ended with your 4th line being the 5th line (well, maybe not) . BUT since you did it your way (and why not?) , let me say i like the way you put tummy and ache(s) together at the end. thanks for sharing. got milk? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Cyrina Moon (12/1/2007 7:27:00 PM)

    Choco Cake
    For goodness sake
    Dark and brown
    Chow it down

    Choco goes south
    But tastes so yummy
    Ring around mouth
    Looks so funny

    Mmm lick it up fast
    Aint’ this a blast
    Endorphin dreamy
    Rich and creamy

    Choco and me
    So free and easy
    Hyped up on you
    Truffles for two (Report) Reply

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