Childrens Book-Pandemonium In Pleasant Valley Poem by Christine K. Trease

Pleasant Valley is a peaceful town where folks wear spurs and chaps.
The friendly town-folk say, “howdy y’all” as they tip ten gallon hats.

But, deep within the chaparral there lies an evil breed
What chaws tobaccie, spits and swears, and is filled with hate and greed.

‘Tis Lizard Lynn with ten of his men come a ridin’ their lineback dunns.
Lynn jump outta’ his saddle, with a wig and a waggle, lookin’ for lizard-type fun.

He starts stringin’ a whizzer, that mean ol’ lizard, come to bring the town to its knees.
Chuggin’ bug juice an’ cuttin’ loose, doin’ pretty much as he’d please.

When Lizard Lynn, with an evil grin, spied Miss Ali Gator
He grabbed ‘hold of his dally, which he slung ‘round Ali, decidin’ his mind to take her!

He lit out towards his horse, who by this time of course was doin’ the crow hop tango.
Lynn lit on the dunn and ripped out a gun and left town with his hounds and a bang-o!

Ali, bound in fear, began to tear, then she got a bow in her tail.
She decided ol’ Lynn with the evil grin would be run outta’ town on a rail.

Lynn unbound Ali Gator, who like a wound agitator busted out swingin’ and flailin’,
Knowing sure, close behind, was a sheriff so kind, who would hear her desperate wailin’.

Lizard Lynn then began to evilly grin as he waved a currycomb.
Shoutin’ at Ali to not dilly dally, and to tidy up his home.

Ali flew in a rage (sure that she’d soon be saved) , she grabbed Lynn’s gravel grinders,
Which she poked to his chin, knowin’ Lynn could not win, as she told him to clamp on the binders.

“Now listen here, Lynn, ” Ali barked with a grin sure to scare any man in this part.
“You listen up good, git out front and chop wood; it’s a waitin’ for someone to start! ”

Lynn, once on the prod, now fearin’ God, grabbed the axe like a broken man
As Ali behind him, sure to remind him, swung a cast iron fryin’ pan.

When the wood was all split, Lynn went to spit, but Ali shrieked out a WHOA!
Lynn’s lips pooched together like storm cloud weather without a place to go.

Ali stated, “How rude, how awful and crude, now, you take off your old John B.
You kneel at that trough and wash and wash ‘till your true hand color I see.”

Lynn obeyed with a whine, wishin’ he could decline, but he seemed to have cooked his own goose.
Thoughts of fancy and free filled Lynn’s mind with glee, now he rather would face “hangman’s noose.”

When out of the blue, came a sound strong and true. ‘twas Sheriff B. Good’s clippity clop,
Come to save Ali Gator from the fate that awaits her at Lizard Lynn’s dusty doorstop.

With stars in her eyes, Ali heaved loving sighs at the sight of her badged cowpuncher.
Sheriff B. Good, as sweet as he could, was wishin’ he had won her.

It seemed right then that they’d begun something to last a while.
Sheriff B. Good, ‘neath the old cottonwood, took the hand of his sumptuous reptile.

Lizard Lynn, now not bleak, began to leap as his tail so anxiously twitched.
It seemed Ali Gator’s fate to await her was to Sheriff B. Good to be hitched.

Overjoyed at his loss, Lynn bowed to his boss, for Sheriff B. Good deputized him.
As, for takin’ on Ali with no dilly dally, Lizard Lynn admirably idolized him.

What became of this crew that you and I knew, that Lizard Lynn came to take down?
They’re residing there still, nestled deep in the hill, while reformed Lizard Lynn guards the town.

Still a bachelor!

Cowpoke’s Dictionary

Spurs - A pointed device worn on the heel by cowboys, used to urge the horse forward

Chaps - Protective leather coverings for the legs of a cowboy
Howdy y’all- Hello to everyone

Ten Gallon Hats - A ten gallon hat is often thought to be large enough to hold ten gallons of water. This is not true (unless you have an exceptionally large head) . The gallon in 'ten gallon hat” derives from the Spanish galón meaning braid. So a
ten-gallon hat is a hat with a braiding around the brim.

Chaparral - Dense thicket

Chaws- Chews

Tobaccie - Chewing Tobacco

Dunn Horse - Yellowish brown colored horse, usually with black stockings, mane & tail

Lineback Dunn - Dunn horse with a black line running down the spine

Stringin’ a Whizzer - Telling a tall tale

Bug Juice - Booze, firewater

Dally - Wrap taken around the saddle horn with the tail end of a lariat rope

Crow Hop - Stiff legged jumps by a horse that doesn't know how to buck

Hounds - Rowdies of the gold-rush days of San Francisco

Bow in Your Neck (tail) - Get an attitude

Run outta’ Town on a Rail - Demand you leave town on a train

Flailin’ - Thrashing around

Wailin’ - Crying

Currycomb - A comb made of rows of metallic teeth or serrated ridges and used especially to curry or brush horses

Dilly Dally – Take your own sweet time

Gravel Grinders - Spurs with a long shank which drag the ground as one walks. Useful for short-legged riders

Clamp on the Binders - Stop right now

On the Prod - Full of mischief and looking for trouble. Said of both people and critters

Fearin’ God – A God fearing man is a man who believes in God, a religious man, or in this case, I think Ali put the fear of God in Lynn!

Whoa - Stop

John B.- Stetson hat

Trough - A container used for watering animals

Cooked His Own Goose - Made a decision that was a bad one

Hangman’s Noose - A noose at the end of a rope, used for hanging an outlaw

Clippity Clop – The sound of a horse’s hooves on hard ground or pavement

Hitched - Married

Deputized - Officially made the Sheriff’s Deputy