Cheese Poem by Stephen Holland

Cheese

You lost me in Tesco’s
You know where I’ll be
I feel faint and excited
Above all happy
There’s so much I’ve tasted
I’m always so pleased
There’s so more here
In this aisle full of cheese

There’s Edam and Cheshire
There’s Roquefort and Brie
There’s smoked ones, mature ones
It’s all here for me
So take your time darling
Whilst shopping in here
I’m safer down this aisle
Than the one full of beer

You find me still smiling
I’m hiding 2 pounds
Of Derby and Sage
I only just found
Don’t look in my pockets
Or I will be hurt
Since a large piece of Cheddar
Is under my shirt

I noticed Red Leicester
‘Oh buy me’ it pleads
I’m distracted by Stilton’s
And Flower Marie
I love Double Gloucester
And Herriot Farmhouse
And you must be wondering
If I’m a man or a mouse

You found me in Tesco’s
An expression of glee
I just seen a ‘stack end’
Of specialist cheese
With names unfamiliar
You are smiling within
Since they are all German
In their origin

Allgauer Emmentaler
Bavarian Bergkase
Cambazola and Quark
I simply can’t pass
Without trying and tasting
Bergader until
I’m lost in cheese heaven
My basket is full