Breathe Poem by Montana Svoboda

I can feel it consuming me
Caliginous
A monstrous haze
Gutted and rusted
Every hour it’s decomposing
An incubus taking root inside my body
Every day
Every hour
Every second it’s getting worse
It’s shooting greasy tentacles into my lungs
Filling up my capillaries with an indistinguishable sludge
I’m starting to suffocate
I’m choking for air
Filling up my inner cavity
Tendrils stretching out and excavating
Every day
Every hour
Every second I’m suffering
It’s wrapped raspy grasping fingers around my brain
It’s excavated and gutted me
It’s all I think
Hear
See
“I hate myself, my life and my body
I hate myself, my life and my body”
I’m not human anymore
I’ve lost all touch
I’m a monster
I’m depression with a grudge
A constant battle inside the last frontier of my frontal lobe
Fighting for inner humanity
Trying not to implode
Every day
Every hour
Every second it’s all I see
And when my eyes go to rest and I lay down for sleep
I can only leave a small note for the soldiers beneath
“Fight for a reason to breathe”