Book Of Matches Poem by R.K. Cowles

So who is this Diddle Diddle?
Why had someone mention to him or her?
That the cat had a fiddle
In reality it was a trumpet
Since it was actually a violin
Besides it was string-less
Since the strings were brutally ripped off
By the Nine of Bombay Bicycle club
And buried in Old McDonald's farm
Because the cat's playing was cruel
Upon its good ear
Unfortunately its trumpet playing was even worse
A suggestion from Jack Sprat's wife
That the trumpet should be ridden over
By little Red Riding Hood's hummer
The cow did not leapt over the moon
It was either tipped over by someone
Or tipped over by a tornado
Or it was on its side
By drinking water that Wee Willie Winkie spiked
With alcohol from Old Mother Hubbard's liquor cabinet
It is possible they thinking the moon was made of cheese
They had assumed it was the cow
That leapt over the moon
Yet, it was actually Hansel and Gretel
That flew to the moon
Upon Little Bo-Beep's winged sheep
As they forced upon the moon
Into its earthen torso a candy cane
From the Good Ship Lollipop
Then continued their flight in another direction
And landed upon a shoe-shaped planet called 'Wonderland'
In a galaxy called 'OZ' far, far away
As they try to convince three bears in a well
That they have disproved the moon is made of cheese
And that it is absurd there is a man in the moon
Since the bears did not understand them
They try to convince Mary's lamb
That was being babysat by Bessy Brooks
Unfortunate the natives of 'Wonderland'
Did not understand Hungarian
Nor any other language on the planet
Hansel and Gretel had came from
The little dog did not laugh
It was Poe's raven that did
After it sang a song of sixpence
The dog had bitten Georgie Porgie
Who had pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall
And onto the Big Bad Wolf
Because he was a sore loser from losing his marbles
To Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee
The dish never ran away with the spoon
It ran away with the funnel to the Butterfly Ball
While the spoon ran away with the saucer
To 'Never, Never Land'
And the parer hid inside the Cat in the Hat with the corer
Somewhere in Toyland
The bowl ran away with the butter knife
That made no sense
Since you're not able to scoop liquids
Out of a bowl with it
I guess it could be true, opposites do attract
But what puzzles me is
Who ran away with the Mad Hatter's toothpick