Body Flies, My Butterflies Poem by Ivan Chizurum Ezeigbo

She was indeed touched
She shook her head that way and the other
Her eyes trembled and moved in a smear of delight and fear
Then it came back up to me
With the same aura and sweat
And power and grace
I looked into the pupil
Trembling and shivering, like always
The same feeling, the same discomfort
The same passion and fear, the same butterflies
Somehow, she knew a way to gag her emotions
Somehow, I had no control over mine
Her eyes accepted me, but her words refused
Those eyes were my hope
Because I knew she could not gag what the eye desires
That hope was that she would always be by my side
To keep exciting those butterflies

She walked as though she wanted me to see her
She spoke like she knew I was listening
She stays in my mind like she paid the rent
She knew that I felt she was heaven-sent
She was lovely like butterflies in the garden
She looked innocent like rose flowers in galleries
She was soft like my heart
She was sweet like purified honey
She was beautiful like a cloudy sky view
She was humorous and funny
She was tender like a child’s palm
She was guilty of nothing but me
I did not deserve her; no, not someone so perfect
It was my sin and fate had to take her away from me
For my guilt of greediness
Her eyes are now all that I can remember
And her soft, sweet, lovely lips I dreamt I kissed
Her body, waist and figure still made me tremble
They were in my thoughts everyday as though I once held her
Her intelligence and ingenuity were impeccable
I knew that the farfetched vision of us together meant success
But now these are just hopes that are gone and dreams not meant to manifest
So unkind of fate to me
Yet those butterflies can’t stay steady in my belly
They flap their wings everyday reminding me of what I‘ve lost

She said yes to me and it was as though I had won a lottery
She said sorry to me and I felt like I was going to float
She smiled to me and I could feel the heat from within
I stood before her sweating
With sincere smiles and laughter
I am the naughty boy that can’t let you go, my angel, I wanted to say
I have been struggling with fate to keep what is not mine
Flap! Flap! Flap!
I feel it again
Those angry butterflies in my stomach
Angry at me for my inability to fight harder or at fate’s inability to feel pity for me
Whichever, they just couldn’t stay steady
And I remember those moments I never had
Of my face rubbing against hers
Of my hands encircling her waist
Of my tear running into our kiss
Just to find myself alone again
Alone only with those flapping butterflies
That has no regard for fate’s decision to give my angel to another man
That feels ignorant to fate’s reputation and power
That can’t believe she won’t come back to me
That can’t agree she could fly away without tagging me along
Well, hold your peace, you angry monsters
Because body flies, my butterflies