Bloodmobile Blunder …… [blood: Donating? ; Suspense? ; Humor? ; Mistake; A Little Long] Poem by Bri Edwards

Bloodmobile Blunder …… [blood: Donating? ; Suspense? ; Humor? ; Mistake; A Little Long]



I love when, with BIG needle, …….my vein is STRUCK by a "tech".
I assume the thought of THAT ……makes some others a wreck.
Each quarter of a year my wife allows me …..to give SOME blood,
but she limits me to one pint; I'm not allowed to …..give a flood.

One winter evening as I was relaxing, with my donation flowing,
in walked a curious creature; he was coming in, not going.
He looked vaguely familiar. His appearance had a dark aspect.
But I'll be damned if, his REAL identity, I would then suspect.

He was welcomed by the nurse as he shook snow from his cape,
and I thought his mouth looked strange, as he held it open (agape) .
[[ That word is "agape", pronounced like ………….. "an ape",
not the word "agape" (like "jalopy") : "Christian love", not hate. ]]

I pretended to not hear, but I heard most that they both said.
Some words were accentuated by widened eyes ….or the shake of a head.
It seems Mr. X was mistaken about why the bloodmobile existed.
Once I thought he wanted to strike the nurse, but luckily he desisted.

Mostly the nurse seemed to stay calm, as best as she could.
I thought that she might laugh once. She didn't; I would.
But her calmness seemed to cause him to become MORE agitated.
His words became surly and, by him, she was berated.

If I'd not been anchored to the chair, by the needle in my vein,
I'd have stepped forward to confront him, and ask ……."ARE you insane? ! "
Instead I reached with my free hand, for my cellular phone;
[It was just her and me against "Mr. X" then. We were all alone.]

Finally the nurse pointed with her trembling hand, towards the exit door.
His hair really bristled then, and he stomped both feet on the floor.
A slight reddening appeared ……in his otherwise snow-white face.
AND his fangs sprouted! ! I gasped, and my heart began to race.

I started to rise up from the donor chair, but I thought better …..of it.
I know I peed in my pants, but at least I did ……not shit.

I yelled at him "GET OUT! ! ! " …………at the top of my voice.
I said "I'm calling the police now; YOU'VE GIVEN ME NO CHOICE! ! "

At those words he turned on his heels, and his bat-wings did appear.
He looked over his shoulder, hissing "My mistake. I'll get the HELL out of here."
The nurse fainted, and, to tell the truth, I ALMOST fainted too.
BUT I'd been a U.S. Marine …………..and I'd see this episode through.

As I waited for the operator to answer the ringing at NINE-ONE-ONE,
my mood suddenly changed; I began to chuckle; this really had been FUN.

(I'd watched Dracula movies as a teenager, when vampires were all the rave.)
Through the window our eyes met as...."HE" flew off, and I ….threw HIM a smile, and a wave.

(October 4+5,2014)

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
even as i was reading the poem for about the seventh time, and this time it was on the 'submit' page 'ready' to be submitted, i found things to change (including one typo actually) to make it 'better'.
i DO give blood at the bloodmobile every four months. i wrote a vampire poem in a 'guest book' in the bloodmobile earlier this year. now, here is one for you guys. :) bri

p.s. i've used a few words in this which i 'never' use, including 'desist'. originally i wrote in my paper notebook 'resist', as in 'resist the temptation to hit the nurse', but i then thought of 'desist', looked up the definition, and........
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Darlene Walsh 08 October 2014

I'm a big fan of vampire stories and I liked this one. I've sometimes compared the phlebotomist to a vampire, they seem to get that joke all the time. One even had a sign over her work area that said 'Vampire at Work.' And you were very brave in this poem (well almost very brave, the vampire didn't seem scary enough to me.) Calling 911 about a vampire, what would they think. Guess it's good the vampire left before the operator answered.

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Bhargabi Dei Mahakul 07 October 2014

Mostly the nurse seemed to stay calm, beautifully expressed and highlighted the services. Third word wonderfully expresses meaning more than others. Nice combination of ideas of both wife and husband. All should be respected. Nice poem written with unique style.

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Bri Edwards 06 October 2014

i really want to change the third word from the ending, from and to AND, but my wife wants to use HER computer. bri :)

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Bri Edwards

Bri Edwards

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