Blackbirds Vs The Beatles (A Short Story) Poem by John Carter Brown

I wrote a poem with the same title, based on this story which you might also like to read.

Today at a London court, we witnessed the conclusion in the unusual case of the descendants of a long-dead blackbird versus Paul McCartney and The Beatles.

Barrister for the prosecution – Sir Robin Finches set out the Blackbirds' case:

Addressing the judge, Lord Peregrine Falconer, Sir Robin explained how, during 1968, Paul McCartney wrote and recorded a song entitled 'Blackbird'. Into this song, he, aided and abetted by his associates John Lennon, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, mixed the beautiful warblings of a real blackbird; recorded years earlier by a now unknown B.B.C. sound engineer. Sir Robin advised the judge that this premeditated action was in direct breach of the then
current copyright laws of England. On behalf of his clients, he now wished to pursue a claim for compensation against the aforementioned Beatles group.

Acting primarily for Mr McCartney, Barrister-at-Law Mr Jay Sneakswift claimed that, at that time, none of the Beatles knew much about this area of the law, but that over the centuries many
composers had used material not strictly of their own invention. An example being that of Ludwig Van Beethoven who, it is believed, used the song (or part thereof) of the yellowhammer, as his main theme for his fifth symphony. Judge Peregrine Falconer (by chance
an avid Beethoven fan) took offence at this and, sensing a definite tone of sarcasm and superiority from Mr Sneakswift, immediately ruled him in contempt of court – his case comes up on the first of the month following.

One witness for the defence – Miss Maggie Pye, a local 'twitcher' claimed that, as birds have no use of money, the whole case should therefore be thrown out of court. The judge took great exception to Miss Pye's tone also; saying that hers was a pathetic excuse for a defence, and that this was not the way we British did things, adding, “ birds too must eat, must they not? ” Seeing the young lady now becoming irate, she too was ruled in contempt, and herself thrown out of court - her case comes up on the tenth of the month following!

Again and again Mr Sneakswift claimed that the Beatles had never intended to impoverish the long -dead blackbird and his descendants by their actions – but to no avail.

In summing up, Lord Peregrine Falconer said that, as educated and intelligent young men, with the world at their feet, The Beatles, but primarily Paul McCartney and 'that Lennon fellow', were guilty of failing to consider the lawful rights of this poor honest bird. He reiterated that this was not at all the British way, and awarded the birds' offspring full legal recourse to back royalties, from the date of the initial crime.

It is certain that an appeal will be forthcoming, but meanwhile Mr McCartney has put out a plea to all Beatles fans, for cash donations, should this appeal fail. Back royalties are expected to be on an astronomical scale, and the two remaining Beatles men must be fearing the worst.

Ians Chuffed. London Evening Standard.

(Written Sept 2013)