Black Smoke Rising Poem by Lynn Kincade

Black Smoke Rising

Rating: 5.0


It is the black smoke rising
Oozing through shuttered windows
seeping into quiet corners
Blocking the heart from
the light of the mind
deepening the gloom of
the mind’s eye

It is the black smoke rising
Sucking out the grief
where loss hides in daytime
Slipping sorrow in its wake
and despair into its bed
to smother laughter
to strangle hope

It is the black smoke rising
The pain crying out
to the one that is lost
Empty echoes mocking back
curling up around the hollow husk
Listless in life
tasting the death of
the black smoke rising.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Efe Benjamin 12 June 2009

This is a fine start, i like ur use personification, and the idea. its very cool, i will rate it 10++

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Chey King 13 June 2009

I cried reading this poem... The black smoke is like an unwanted being, ('oozing through shuttered windows, ' love that part) stealing any trace of joy or hope.10++

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Alison Cassidy 14 June 2009

This is a very well structured poem with its 'black dog' theme and it's melancholy tone. Your images are arresting and fresh as sunlight. I look forward to reading more of your work. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Martin O'Neill 23 January 2012

I don't why most of your postings are as old as mine...but.. like me you need to post more--for my sake. Work it out! Hope to see some more of your work soon.

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Goran Gustafsson 17 June 2009

I like the way you let the powerful phrase 'Black Smoke Rising' coming back in every stanza. It gives the poem that blue feeling that goes to the heart

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Shawnee Gonzalez 15 June 2009

hey i read this and for being new this is amazing! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ♥ §♥

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Rory Hudson 15 June 2009

What they call a 'dark poem', I believe. The reiteration of the reference to black smoke holds it all together very well.

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Joe Osullivan 14 June 2009

very nice. Abstract but accessible,

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Lynn Kincade

Lynn Kincade

Australia
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