Birds & Beasts Poem by George Hunter

Birds & Beasts



I can't tell a Raven from a Crow
Except when reading Edgar Allan Poe
In the wilds of Idaho.

I'm not really into bird watching
Girl watching is more my thing
Although both are very common in the spring

I can't tell a Blackbird from a Blackhead
Or a wigeon from a Pigeon
Or a gidget from a widget
Or an Emu from a Gnu
Or an Oyster in a stew.

It's really too absurd
Not to recognize a bird
When an Eagle is quite different from a Beagle.

I can't tell a Pterodactyl from a Ptarmigan
Tho in both you don't pronounce the 'p'
And a Duckbill or a Shoebill or a Hawkbill
All look about the same to me
.
But I can't tell a Bat From an Octopussycat
Or a Moose from a Meece
Or a Sheep from its fleece

But I can tell a Jailbird from a Railbird or a coot
By the black and white stripes around his suit.
I can't tell a Hippo from a Rhino
Or a Black Man from an Albino
Tho I think one has pink eyes but, son of a witch
I can never remember which is which.

I can usually remember where I parked the car
But then I find that I have lost the key.
This kind of thing is very distressing to me.
Guess I'll have to undergo psychoanalysis
To undo my brain paralysis.

They call this malady no-recognizeaphobia
A debilitating kind of disease
Where you can't even tell a Bee's knees
From its Fleas.

I can't tell a Dingo from a Windingo
And Dogs all look similar to me now
Can't even tell a well-hung Bull from a Cow.
And I can't tell an Elk from a Deer
Even when looking up their rear.

I can't tell a Bear from a Hare
Or a Marling from a Starling
And an Oriole is surely Greek to me
So I don't even try
To tell a Skeeter from a Fly
Or a Wasp from a big fat Bumblebee.

A Woodpecker and a Peckerwood
Are surely two different things
Especially in the South
And they say you can tell a Pelican
By the size of its mouth.

But I can tell a Chicken from a Turkey
And with a little bit of luck
I can recognize a Duck
But all the rest are rather murkey.

How dumb can one get,
I haven't learned yet
But I'm not completely stupid, as I have found
That I can usually tell my Arse
From a hole in the ground

Sunday, August 16, 2015
Topic(s) of this poem: animals
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