Big Plum Fae Anderston. Poem by PAUL COLVIN

Big Plum Fae Anderston.



Today’s his birthday and I think of my dad
Big Plum was his nickname but he wasn’t so bad
He’d slump in the chair on a cold Friday night
He never was wrong, he always was right.
A Guinness, a sherry were there by his side
Or a wee quarter bottle, he was determined to hide
From any outsiders, that was only for him
Until mum said softly, “You’ve had enough Jim”!
Enough wasn’t much for a man on a mission
And he wouldn’t give in, he knew not submission
And that wee quarter bottle ‘til morning would keep
But as soon as he drank it, he’d fall fast asleep.
He’d awake about nine and head down the stairs,
It was on with the shirt and on with the flares,
There’d be that strange noise of his hand on the wall
But that was only for balance as he thought he would fall!
When he got to the bottom, he’d pause at the door,
Braced but still cuddling, his Saturday store.
Back in the chair and start with the sherry
By half nine or ten, he was halfway to merry.
By eleven o’clock he thought it was night
So he’d go up to bed and cuddle up tight,
Hold his wee bottle and feel so secure
And when he wanted something, he’d bang on the floor.
When he banged on the floor, it did make some noise,
Followed by “May” in a big booming voice!
We all had a snigger at his smile and his stance
When he was so drunk but his looks were enhanced
By the beautiful glasses he’d put on to read
They belonged to our mum but he took no heed.
Their big pointed frames looked so out of place
Like Dame Edna’s glasses on a big navvy’s face.
He’d a daft Irish accent when he answered the ‘phone
We’d all burst out laughing, where did that voice come from!
His dad was Irish but he was born here
In Anderston, Glasgow and that’s nowhere near!
When sober he read papers and watched the TV
And also done crosswords that sat on his knee
But when we changed channels and back down we sat,
He’d say, ”What are you doing, I’m watching that”!
Sometimes, not often, he’d go down to mass,
Get waylaid on his journey and then he would pass
The chapel and instead go straight to the Knights
Then like all good Catholics, end up a sight!
He had many good points and I’ll think of one soon,
Ah yes, his retirement, now that was a boon,
We met so many friends from his new social club,
They popped in, ate our dinner and then went to the pub!
Ah Big Plum fae Anderston, the man who built ships
He ate home-made pieces, not burger and chips,
A bright, clever man, a genius or mad,
Aye, that was Big Plum and he was our dad.

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