Before You Die Poem by Jade Leven

what is this fantasy that has taken over me?
I'm half-asleep and I am half-dreaming
that you are about to leave this earth

the hospital corridor is crowded this time of night
I walk as quickly as I possibly can
oh, I never did love you enough for what you're worth

and I'm sorry that this is coming out a little too late
as I reach your bedside, alone and afraid
I never stopped loving you for a single day

and I'm sorry that this is happening a little too quickly
but I need you to know how much I'll miss you when you're gone
the worst part is, you can't do anything about it now anyway

I came on impulse to this place
knowing that it would be my last chance to see your face
and I don't want you to have any doubt in what I say to you

I came because I thought that you should know
everything I kept inside was covered up by endless lies
and I want you to believe what I say now, because it's all true

every night I closed my eyes and I remembered
and the way it made me feel brought all this to my attention
I told them all I never loved you, I lied to myself as well

I took the wheel and pulled over
I opened the passenger door and told you never to come back
I pulled back onto the road and drove myself into hell

I never could have, never should have, never would have known
that I was hurting us both so severely by making sure you weren't near me
and now you're dying and I can't take back the words I spoke

now you're dying and you can't take back the hearts you broke
now you're dying and I can't take back the hearts I broke
now you're dying and we can't take back the hearts we broke

it was all just a dream (heavy breathing)
it was all just my imagination (calming down now)
but figuratively, that was reality
and your heat is still broken because of me