Because Poem by Jason Stump

Because I have loved
I know
This feeling of loss
is just the aftertaste
of something great.

Because I was complacent
I keep that bloody tan shirt
I applied direct pressure with
while my IFAK sat in the truck
where I forgot to grab it out of.
I keep it because its all that remains
of a friendship, of a man,
that I called brother.
I called your mother
I read her your letter,
told her I wasn't the sniper
but I might as well have pulled the trigger
because your dead and I couldn't save you.
She told me she loved me regardless
the human heart is boundless
with the capacity of forgiveness.

Because we were young then,
I sought the only thing that made sense,
I was on a rampage looking for revenge.
We got that sniper two days after he got you.
Called the thunder and brought the whole building down around him.
If you see that man up in heaven
and he has even one single virgin,
do me a favor Rowdy, punch God in the face,
and put two in that cowards chest, and one in the head.
Tell him its with regards to Rowdy, Salim the greatness, Father time, and the other 5000 that died.
Because I know you, I know you wont do that
you will hug him and say on that day you were a better soldier than I
Humility was your style, I always envied that about you.

Because I read the bible
I know God will forgive me
Because I was angry
I turned my back
sought earthly things to fill the cracks
of this broken heart
siting in my chest.
Lest we forget,
you will forever be chewing big league bubble gum
and making bets
about which one of us could pick up the most chicks.

Because I am not a politician
this war we fought together
still doesn't make sense to me.
But I know you always told me
If I didn't go who would they have sent in my place
your little brother
My baby sister
Thank you for always taking the high road
and thank you for never leaving me alone
Even in death I could feel you
telling me, count the shot's,
never put an empty back in your ready pouch,
don't kick this door in go around back.
Don't think I didn't know those gut feelings were you
stay frosty up there in heaven
because even in death your still a soldier,
even in death, your still my best friend.
Even in death, Your little sister is still not bad looking.