Bar Talk Philosophies On Hilton Head Island Poem by Leah Ayliffe

You say you don't believe in God
As we sit at a beach bar underneath the stars
You say if heaven was such a place
The pain that you felt would have gone away
Long before it ever came

I know of sorrow here on earth
I listen while the ocean sings its song
The sadness doesn't just disappear
Its pain is real and close and dear
And I have doubt too

We both sit still under the moon
Sipping on cold coca cola and vodka
Let past and present ghosts settle in
Trying to reach for something to depend on
Finding faith in an empty map

You say a God would never be so cruel
Take a good look at the world today
You say if spirits were here to linger
Why don't they try and make a sound
And save us from the fall

Classic rock plays behind our white noise
The background, the soundtrack to the night
I look again towards the black sky, silver stars
I get the sudden urge to cry out
I hear a calling inside

'I am still broken, so flawed, ' I whispered
'My days are not what I want, and neither am I.
Yet I can't deny the rhythm in my soul
That tells me there's something else
Out there, something so much more'

A skeptical look and a flash of sadness
Moves quietly across her face
A stare of longing at a cup of amnesia
A wish to be anywhere but here, but her
I know it well, I know it well

I look at the string of lights lined above
From the tikki bar to the hotel lobby's wall
I try again, I hear it knocking loud
The calling in my heart to my mind
This time I'll let it in

'I don't know about God my beautiful friend
I don't know about angels
Or heaven on a floating cloud
But there's a reason we're always searching
A reason we look for more

Maybe God is just the universe's metaphor
Maybe angels are just soul's set free
I think we need to find paradise in ourselves
Before we find our real home
Before we get to leave'

She shrugs, we order another round
She smiles, I smile, we know it doesn't matter
'so who are you in love with these days? '
Always the same answer with us,
But after there was silence. Silence.