Bad Sam Poem by Lone Dog

Sam was disobedient
And trouble from the start.
When he was only three years old
He wrecked a shopping mart!

Belligerent and mischievous;
A terror-on-the-loose;
He did the kind of things they said
Would lead him to the 'noose'.

When Sam had turned the age of six
His 'record' was so long
They found they had to lock him up,
For all his thoughtless wrongs.

But Sam deserved his youthful fate,
For on his list of deeds
He'd damaged thirty cars and filled
Their gas tanks full of weeds.

He'd broken sixteen windows on
Three downtown clothing stores,
And pelted four policemen with
Some rotten apple cores.

He'd chased old ladies down the street,
And stolen blind men's canes,
And when he drank some gasoline
They swore he was insane!

So at the tender age of six
His life of crime seemed o'er,
For Sam was locked inside a cell
With solid bars and door.

But Sam was held for just three days,
For when the guard walked by,
He found Sam somehow had escaped
Without a fond good-bye.

They caught him roaming `round the town
Without his underwear,
And promptly locked him in a cell
Marked, 'Guard with Special Care'.

But somehow Sam escaped again,
And rampaged through the streets.
He threw sharp rocks and bottles at
The people that he'd meet.

Today, bad Sam is locked up tight.
His keepers at the zoo
Say Sam's the worst orangutan
By far, they ever knew!