Backspace, Sidewalks Poem by Andrus Cassian

Backspace
All I seem to do is press erase
Here are my words, caressing Charlotte in dead space
It's against the rules to say her true name
but I needed to this day
Saying Scarlett Jade just wasn't enough
Said her name, saw her face
saw the past and laid down in it's embrace
Her smile still brightened up the world like it used to
as it reached both ends of her cheeks
Nothing on Earth could ever tell me heaven isn't real
when I have always stared it in pools of emerald
while Marching on April avenue down the sidewalks to the 21st of May
My steady dream of her and me
reality says it's never true, never meant to be
but I cry out blasphemy
but I cry out in infamy with words I should never say
or a silver barrel will be my one way telescope
Imaginatively, I have already rescued my fair haired beauty
from the tower, from the pressure of success
floating on a raft of lilac and sweet peppermint
What's a promise if a year apart cannot be mended
What's a promise if it's the one impossible to keep
I promised her to fall into me
cause she made me invincible
without her...without her...I only run away from the sidewalks
the same sidewalks I held her hands while hunting down my sunset
I attempted to wrap it, tie it in a bow as a ring for her
to get closer to her
to say this year's love, it'll last
to say from wherever she lands, wherever she is
I'll never be tired of her
but I sink like a stone once I see sunrise bounce of the walls
I sink like a stone once I hear the song ends
I sink like a stone once I realize she's not Avelyn
I have no right to touch her face
when I have no idea the words I should say
Backspace
All I seem to press is erase
in desperate attempt to caress Charlotte, Scarlett Butterfly Jade
in desperate attempt to break free, to be someone other me
but I sit here chasing sunsets
shooting the moon with the very rocks I skip
counting the sticks breaking under my feet
while I just stuff chin to my chest
and my hands in my faded jeans
walking down the same sidewalks
I ran away with her in my daydreams