Back O Bennachie (48 Scots Poems) Poem by Sheena Blackhall

1.Back o Bennachie

The peesie pipes her cloudy tune
Aroon the back o Bennachie
Far dockens dover, yeities cheep
Aa's growth, an wyvin greenery

A leprechaun his cast his quilt
Alang the dwaumin, Gordon howe
He's happit aa in elfin green
Frae sheugh, tae fairm-toun, tae knowe

A hippit yowie hirples by
A dauncin gleg nips at her dowp
The ootraxxed finggers o an aik
Drap shaddas, far the rabbits lowp

The sharny kye ayont the dyke
Like claikin gossips, boorich roon
Hoch-heich in clover. Wabbit wives
They're plottit, birsslin hett, at noon.

A forest plaid o bronze fir-preens
Furls saftsome ben a futterat's trail
Abune green-luggit blaeberries, teet
Twa lums, the hornies o a snail.

Tap seelie braes, the rowans bide
Their waddin blossom's fite's the snaw
An reeshlin ben ilk leafy bride
The bonnie, birlin, breezes blaw.

The drouthy breem drinks doon the sun —
Hett bummers heeze tae pree its gowd
Like butteret wings, smaa hauns in prayer,
Breem flooers, like yalla muirmochs showd

The peesie pipes her cloudy tune
Aroon the back o Bennachie
Far dockens dover, yeities cheep
Aa's growth, an wyvin greenery.


2.Au Claire de la Lune

The halflin meen's a unicorn
Wha's creamy flank't an strang
An aa the starnies ben the nicht's
The seed frae oot his whang.


3.Auld Brig o Dee

The muckle stanes aneth the brig
Are carved as smeeth's a marble font
Nae sculptor's haun his chiselled ocht
Since time began, the waves ayont
Yon bowdie brig hae hackt an vrocht
A hunner crannies, howes an neuks
Far roddens reidden, wild Scots rose
Protects its bairns wi scratty cleuks.

Aneth the brig, auld birks, twa fauld
Hap carl doddies ben the banks
Abune the lave, the pine trees raxx
Their rosit, roosty-coloured shanks

Blaeberry, thrissle, heather, peat
Thegither wyve a bonnie plaid
The air, wi thyme's as scentit sweet's
The posie o a Heilan maid

A tryst fur burns o aa the airts
Sheep-fauld o watters, yon's the Dee
Waves clash thegither...foo they furl
Like flags o a great company

A cricket pipes her teenie tune
A curlew keens abune the gean
A puddock craiks at rowan's foun
A yeitie yatters in the breem

Wechtit wi hinney frae the hill
A bummer flees wi weariet wing
His hairy hurdies loadit doon
Pugglit wi hairstin in the ling

The herdsman, Dee, wheeps ben the muir
Gars salmon rise brak-neck, an faa
Booed like a bow ootower the steer
The brig bides stinch abune them aa.



4. The Whigmaleerie

The whigmaleerie's coorse an slee
Wi een like bleezin peat
He weirs a thorn buss fur hair
A bawd's hin-legs fur feet

His lugs are wirmy puddock-steels
His neb's a grumphy's snoot
His belly is a fryin pan
His aims are lang an stoot

His cleuks are jobby as a craws
A besom is his tail
An fin he blaws his tooteroo
He fussles up a gale.

The whigmaleerie wauks the nicht
Wi warlocks, ghaists, an ghouls
Plays ring-a-rosies roon the meen
Syne bedds doon in the mools


5. Lament on the Mither Tongue

As I gaed doon the granite toun
The schule bell hished the bairns tae Lear
Bit weel I kent that feint the wird
0 Scots, their Scottish lugs wad hear

The tongue o Barbour, Ross, Dunbar
Micht weel be Zulu. It's nae tholed
In classroom claik. Sae much the waur
Fin aa maun haud the Inglis mould

Aince-year the moosewabs faa frae Burns
Dominies dicht the hallowed buik
Syne stap it back... the anely bard
0 Scotia that they daurna jouk

O Hugh MacDiarmid, Soutar, Bruce,
Mackie & Rorie feint a straw
Frae Scottish culture, bairns are weaned
The Inglis rose blaws oweraa

Ye deils fa set the bairns darg
Pit this in yer computer's dowp
Gie's back wir sangsters, playwrichts, bards
Ye arena ower heich tae cowp.


6.Moral Dilemma

Buddha said, 'Respeck aa leevin breets'
An sae I dae... wee collies, spurgies, troots
Bit fin a forkie treetles up ma queats
I'm nae sae keen on Natur's crawly geets.
I'll pooshunt... ding its barns oot wi ma buits

I luv aa beasts... bar ane. It gars me cowk
The gollach wi its horns upon its dowp.


7. North East Nineties Rap

Tweedledee telt Tweedledum
Nae room for Scots in the curriculum
Shakespeare, Milton, a Rodin sculpture,
Great.. bit gies a smachrie o the Scottish culture
Computin? Newton? Yer root-toot-tootin
At wird-processin we're high-falutin
Home Economics? It's a rave
We're aa hum-dingers wi a microwave

Dance an Drama.. here we go
Reelin in a Doric video
Shell-suit, trainers, T-shirt, kickers
Sports bag clartit up wi trendy stickers

Chinos, Levis, Pepes, Lees
Project folders on the Pyrenees

Hubble, bubble, the ile brings double
The price o fish an wi half the trouble
Crisps, coke, Wimpy, we like faist food
Consumin aa the action in the neighbourhood

Fae Banchory, tae Buckie, tae San Franciso
We like tae pairty wi a roller-disco
Nineties, pine trees, deid wi acid rain
Waste-disposal dreepin doon the drain
We are the friens o the Green revolution
We're the generation stoppin the pollution

Play fair auldies..leave some spare
Save us a daud o the ozone layer.


8. Incomers

Me? Glowerin at the new neebours?
Since fan's it bin a crime tae dicht the windaes?
Onywye, it's ye I'm fashed aboot
Yer fuschias, an the girse ye sawed yestreen
A sausage dug's gaen bowfin up the green.
I's sweir I'll gar it claw far it's nae yoky
If it as much as piddles on the rock'ry...

Faith, fit a curriewurrin o a wife...
An orra, strushle breet
A mowser on her mou, an bauchled feet
She'd better takk her shot tae shiel the snaw
Or else she'll hae hett tongue and hetter lugs

Lord, did ye SEE yon fooshty, chittered rugs?
We'll hae tae fumigate fur fear o bugs.
It's surely minks we're gettin, ower the waa
Ye'll hae tae chyne the door wi'in the haa

God save's, a chunty!
I hinna seen the like since Willy's Aunty
Wis laid up fur a month wi clottit veins...

Wi filth as thick as thon, they'll choke the drains
The mannie's sark tail's hingin oot an plappin
He's wyvin up an doon like Charlie Chaplin
He's fu's a puggie. Dinna smirk like yon!
Ye needna think ye'll try HIS capers on
Or else ye'll takk up ludgins in the street

Noo, here's the bairns... a sorry tribe o geets
Wi nae hale pair o breeks atween the lot
An ilkie ane, a pecher-fu o snot

Glory be. He's giein me the fingers, little deevil
An yon's the thanks I hae, fur keepin ceevil!


9. Aiberdonian Recipe

Takk seeds o Nor East stock (twa)
Plunk them thegither
Simmer fur awhile.
Dinna byle (it tends tae spyle the flavour)
Add ae spirk o ile
A shakk o satty sea
A suppie cauld snaw bree
A guid Scots tongue tae gie it virr an birr
A toosht o barley
Fang o granite chukkies
A Finnan haddie
Fur nine month, let it staun...
Syne, wheek it up,
Skelp its dock
Rowe't in a cloot
Cowp it frae the pan
An there ye'll hae't
A fire-new Aiberdonian!


10. Fin I wis Fower an Twenty

Fin I wis fower an twenty
Ma luv he wis the cream
An I the purrin bawdrons
That supped the saucer clean

Fin I wis fower an forty
The cream hid soored tae bile
The guff wad kill a grumphy
At half a hunner mile!


11. The Gull Spikks Oot

I'm here tae tell
That I'm an Aiberdonian, same's yersel
There's nocht sae queer as fowk. I see them
Gulp their Chinee doon, syne cowk
Near ilkie Setterday on Union Street

We gulls are cannie far we pit wir feet
Ye'll note, WE dinna argue wi wir meat
An ye've the neck tae tell us that we skirl
Yer soun at closin time makks ma beak dirl
Wi stoun o stottin humans, wavin cans
That bobbies hae tae cairt awa in vans..

'Clear aff', sez ye, 'An dine on North Sea fish”
We micht, bit they're a gey suspicious dish
Fur ilkie time ye pull yer lavvie chyne
Far dae ye think it's destined? Tae the brine!
An tides that wash the beach, cairry awa
Yer duggies doins tae the fishies mawe

We're blamed fur powkin in the human midden
Weel, buy a wheelie bin an keep it hidden
The ither day, I met a refugee
A hoodie frae the t'ither side o Huntly

He sez yer pesticides gaed him sair bellies
Fin powkin in remains, he'd tae weir wellies
Fur fear o gettin kill't wi Chemistry
Mixi, or ither hellish human bree

I telt him, processed meat is as I ett
It's safer, an I like ma denners hett
Sae dinna rage, an cowp me aff yer lurn
A gull maun hae a place tae park its bum

We'd aince clean air, sea... girsse insteid o steen
We're sennin a petition tae the Queen
Fur humans tae be banned frae reproducin'
The anely answer tae the toun's pollution!


12. The Keepsake

Fin I wis wee, wi leaward lug
Ma faither's Scots wis branch an bouer
An ower ma bairnhood, like an aik
His thochts an wirds war leaf an flouer.

Far ither's een turned soor an blear
On dubby park or dreepin Ben
Settin their sichts on gowd, or gear
Priceless, he caad the Tullich glen.

Fowk's mortal reets rin strang an deep
Sae at the hinmaist o his span
I laid him in his last, lang sleep
Near far his wardly ploys began.

Beeriet the bane, bit nae the virr
Langsyne it fand anither reest
Gin I draw nigh tae Lochanagar
A deid man's hairt lowps in ma breist.


13. Hannah the Herd

'Hish an hup'.. The kye cam hirplin up the brae
The roch-staned, humphy brae,
Splay-fittit. Sharny shanks
Cakit wi dubs an antrin wisps o strae
Prop up their tail-wheeped dowps.
Their muckle girths
Swey like a puckle ships, wi rowth o cargo.

Ilkie wechty udder reams wi milk
Spirk-spirkin doon like pearls
Stottin pirls o cream at ilkie stride
They wide on, hefty, nippit
Atween whin an wild rose buss
Ower graivel smush
That hauds the flint o ice,
The glint o snaw
At its cauld, treacherous hairt
Skyty wi weety glaur.

Hannah the herd cries 'hup'
The wird hings frozen
Catched in wintry haar
The braiths o the great quate breets
She hishes uphill cannie
Steam like singin kettles on the hob
A dreep sypes frae the
Hinner en o her snoot
Her skin's a leathered cloot
Roch, broon an runkled as a wizzened taed

The nyaakit rodden, raxxes oot teem airms
Scratty's a futterat's cleuks..
Birdless. A nettle-stob's the air
That brings a lowe tae the lug
Hannah, tichtens her jaiket
Straichtens the hose in her wallies
Gies a rug tae the bunnet
Plunkit skweejee ower
Her touslie, raivelled hair.

She's sharger-thin an bitter bites the win
Waur nur the pulpit lash on soor Sabbaths
Her eens' twa brambles, floatin in a tarn
That since wis passin fair

Her teeth are strang an yalla as a meer's
Blythe she is, a hardy, spunky gurran
Wi wits as quick's a maister wyver's shears.
She hishes aa her charges tae the byre
Syne frae a hackit mou
Ringed roon wi stounin sairs
She wheeples tae them, sweet as ony lyre.


14. THE CHAIRMAN 0 THE CHILD PROTECTION PANEL

I hae tae say, o aa the chiels
Wha act the lay judiciary
I'm far the best at reddin up
The dregs o crass humanity

I've rowth o siller at ma back
Ma boatie's ay rowed weel
I've niver kent the bite o lack
Warm cled, frae heid tae heel..

Ma mither wis a mortal saint
By Gad, she worshipped me!
Aa weemin sud be vrocht like her
Oedipus? Fa wis she?

As this is nae a coort o law I
'll spikk ma mind richt plain
There's nane can garr ME haud ma tongue
I gie ma thochts fu rein

Nae lawyer tae cry, 'Bigot, wheesht'
I prosecute an judge
I crack the maister's wheep betimes
An niver bear a grudge!

I like tae carve a pun o flesh
An tae apportion blame
As I've the richt tae dae,
Because o my untarnished name.

In wird an declamation
I am VERRA dignifeed
Jist speir at aa the errant sowls
The fowk I've crucifeed...
I'm aywis ceevil fin I poor
Contempt upon their heid.

Ye maun be sensitive, ye see
Tae haunle this poseetion
An sae I am. I niver roar
Fin makkin my summation.
I tell them straicht
'A mither? Ye? I doot ye cudna learn
Tae rear a grumphy's littlins
Let alane a tricky bairn!

It's aa yer wyte yer bairn's gaen wrang
Yer a patheetic sample;
Gin ye wad climm perfection's spire,
TAKK ME AS YER EXAMPLE! '


15. I am a Doric Stereotype

I am a Doric stereotype
I sup ma meal an ale
Syne wash it doon wi yirned milk
An muckle dauds o kale

I am a Doric stereotype
I weir ma knicky tams
Tae keep ma legs frae faain doon
Wi jeelipfus o drams

I am a Doric stereotype
The horseman's wird I glean
I've thrissles growin frae ma lugs
An sooricks in atween.

I am a Doric stereotype
I keckle like a hen
Wi horny hauns an sharny buits
An yaavins but an ben

I am a Doric stereotype
Abune ma brose I rift
I skirl an birl at echtsome reels
An darn ma hose fur thrift.

I am a Doric stereotype
That thing ye'll niver meet
I whyles chant Buddhist mantras
An read Rene Magritte.


16. The Fish Gutter’s Sang

Haud the fishie bi the gills
Rug the knife alang its belly
Banes are staunin up like quills
Haud yer nose.. it's awfa smelly
Dauds o fite, o green, o yalla
Yon's the guts the scurries swalla
Slivvery blobs like dauds o jeely
Aa come oot the fishie's belly

Hack its heid aff, an its tail
Guttin on throw snaw an hail
Cuts an cracks makk fingers reid
Satty clooties sype wi blind
Fa wad be a fisher quine
Guttin herrin frae the brine?


17. Let the Records Show

Born fin they'd selt the pram
Intae a clan comprisin o ae dug
A father, mither, granny, an a brither
Fad hae raither hid a metronome insteid
'I wish they'd pit her back again, ' he said.

At five I failed the IQ test fur High
Wis sweir tae tell the wifie, the pig bedd in the sty
An wadna coont ma nummers up tae ten
Convinced she maun be glekit nae tae ken.

'How many legs has horsie? ' she speired neist
I steekt ma mou, rebellion in ma breist
'No academic bent' wis her summation
Sae Mile-End Schule gied me an education
I liked it yonder, fin it poored wi rain
The lavvies floodit an the class wun hame.

On Sabbath days we traivelled tae a fairm
Wir kinfolk ained. I powkit in the barn
Flegged kittlins, howkit hoosies in the strae
Dinged doon the stooks, caad clockers aff the lay
An ilkie holiday, wir hale jing bang set furth
Fur Byron kintra, an a Heilan hearth.

Reared a Scot,
I learned a leid an wyes the lave forgot.
A halflin, aged eleeven, gey bumshayvelt
Tae yon first fantoosh place o lear I traivelled
Fur five lang years o weary, dreichsome trauchle
Its genteel teachers tuik me fur a bauchle

Lowsed at saxteen, tae Art schule, rank an roch
I skippit aff, tae be the neist Van Gogh
Failed ilkie dam't exam, an wi a grue
Tuik T.C. trainin syne, tae jink the Broo

Ochone..yon darg wis waur nur Passchendaele
I'd raither stap ma heid aneth a flail
Tae thole, day in, day oot, young limmers' jaw
S'like haein aa yer hams, sliced wi a saw

An sae I merriet. Reared a faimily
Thinkin twid be the verra dab fur me
We'll let yon flee stick, wummlin tae the waa
There's faats aa roon at ony biggin's faa
I wield ma pen. It's sootherin, yon's a fack
A verse or story niver answers back.


18. The Hinmaist Wird

Fin they lower the towes frae day tae the dowie dark
An the warldly claes I hae, is a timmer sack
Oh dinna be sweir tae cowp the clay ower me
Fur its anely a pucklie banes tae the mools ye'll gie!

The braith o' me'll wheeple up far the peesies cry
Frae the cauld, clean braes o Coull, tae the salmon sky
An the sicht o' me'll feast richt full on the lang linn's faa
Far the showders o Lochnagar rise tap o' aa.

Oh dinna be laith tae bid me the last fareweel
Frae a warld far the weird I dreed wis a cankered dreel
Fur I'll be the preen-prick frost, that flooers in the snaw
The sang in the uplan burn, in the April thaw.

Tint in the fir-wid's gloamin, there I'll be
In the mornin dyew that glimmers frae tree tae tree
An laich far the barley reeshles her gowden goun
I'll be the glint in the girse at the lang rig's foun.

Daith anely frichtens fowk wi gear tae ain
Bit I hae naethin tae loss, an aa tae gain.


19. Original Sin

Aa ower ae aipple
The serpent maun crawl in the stoor
An Eve, the original hoor
Maun thole the stouns o Hell
In bearin a bairn

Adam, the puir, glekit body
Fur haein a haun in the hale concern
Wis pitten oot o his gairden
Awa frae his bonnie flooers
An luikin doon, wis affrontit
Tae fin he wis nyaakit
Sae happit his dockum frae sicht.

Aa richt.
We ken that Eve ettin the aipple
Caused the hale misfittin affair.
There's iist the ae thing that I'm winnerin
FA PIT THE DAMNT THING THERE?


20. The Hallierackit Heilander

The hallierackit Heilander is scraggy as a been
Wi oxterfus o tartan plaid, steekt wi a siller preen
His tam o shanter faces north, his sporran faces sooth
He cowps a caber ilkie day... he's dane it frae his youth

He feeds his bagpipes usqueba, they gowp it doon richt weel
An yon's the wye ye NIVER see a straicht-furred eichtsome reel
He rins aroon the rugged rucks, a-chasin haggis bags

He's shot a thoosan midgies deid bit och, he niver brags
He cracks his spunks upon his teeth, he cleans his sheen wi peat
Caul kail, an oats, an dauds o deer's his daily howp o meat.

Far dis the muirlan mist cam frae?
The rikk frae aff his pipe! An fin it snaws, ye micht be sure
He's dichtin doon his dyke.
The styew flees here, the styew flees there frae Birse tae Aiberdeen
There's drifts on ilkie Ben, until his winter cleanin's deen.


21. Rain-Cycle

Beltane. The sappy rain
Is sonsie's buds o leaf
It plaps like plashy puddocks
Draps umbrellas o dreeps
That hett-fit lowp an daunce abune the reef.

Lammas. A thunner-crack
Zig-zags as bricht's a meen
An aidder's back o lichtnin licks the lan
The droothy yird unsteeks its mou tae sup
Rain teems doon, reams doon man an muir, ram-stam.
Lums an winnock-panes are drookt bi the
Cowpit cup o watter frae abune
That swalls the taps o toon, the troch o tup.

Mairtinmas. The wechty lift
Grues sair wi nip-neb wins
The flooers hing deid
An birdies sikk tae shift

Yuletime. The Sizzens birl
Furls rain tae sleet, syne snaw
The warld's grown siller an fite, in the deid-thraa
Feather, fur an flesh as cleekit in ae vice
The steeny hairt o rain, that's jeeled tae ice.


22. The Lion Rampant

'Oh the lion is aff the flag again
An reengin the countryside'...
Bit fin he wun ower the Muckle Mounth
He didna sikk lang tae bide!
Fur aabody Furth o the Doric North
Wis a bitticky antiqueerian
Wi a Phd. in a Lallans key
As modern as Shakespearean

Hid he bin a literary breet
He'd bin shipped tae cauld Siberia
Gin he'd roared oot 'fa' insteid o 'Wha'
The purists wad hae hysteria

Oh the academe, wi its bee-bunnet theme
(Weel awa frae the buts an bens)
Howk wards lang deid, tae stap in a screed
Nae ane in a thoosan kens.

'Ochone, ' cries the lion, 'Fit a mineer
Ye've nane o ye cheenged a bit
Wi yer wee cliques there, an yer wee cliques here
Yer aa sae thrawn, an yer aa sae sweir
That nane o ye see fur aa yer steer
Scots is a spikk, nae Haly Writ.'

'The Bible's read on the Sabbath day
(Or a twa, three times a year)
Maist ay bi a priest or a dominie
Fa's steepit his hams in lear

Fin I wis young, man, the guid Scots tongue
Roon Buchan, an Mar an Mearns
Wis alive in the mou (Nae a screive fur a few
A museum piece fur bairns)

Ye'll nae unite, gin ye fleer an flyte
Ower the verra banes o the spikk
Faith, ilkie clan hid its ain tartan
An focht fur its ain peat rikk!

Like Chaiman Mao, maun we AA kow-tow
In yer cultural reevolution?
Maun we aa sup brose in the same size dose
An takk lessons in elocution?

Maun we AA weir broon, an a Lallans goun
Maun we AA learn Scots frae a buikie?
If yon's the plan, fur the new Scotsman
He can steek it up his bihoochie!

Maun AA Scots boo tae the Embro ploo?
Can a spurgie cheep like a teuchit?
It's the same auld meen, tho ye spell it mune
Ye're a wee thing weet..We're drookit.

Gin ye canna agree tae differ' (quo he)
'It's back tae ma flag I'm gaun.'
An he lowpit awa, mane, virr, an claw
Wi a guid corn-kister sang!


23. Yule

Yule.0 a suddenty,
A robin blossoms like a poppy flooer
A rodden wags its airms
(A timmer daddylanglegs, tiltin at the haar)
Sun's wizzened ee glowers doon
Deid parks haud taiglet sheep
Dreich, dour an soor
Birks staun Bach-broon in glaur.

Far deil the birdies threep,
A burnie tummles, thirled noo tae Winter
Its ilkie drap, a linn.

A deein rattle is the chitterin whin
Time skreichs, a brukken winmill, hingin bi a threid
Day rochles in the thrapple, jeels the bluid.

The sabbin ocean reels an rives aneth the lift's fite mawe.
Waves strive like sodjers, in the battle-thraw.

Yuletide, a carlin-wife, is
Wirkin her witcherie, ower ane an aa.


24. Tomnaveries (Bronze Age Circle, Coull)

Ilkie fit is reeted in the yird
Ilkie heid's a scaffold tae a cloud
Yon circle bides unbrukken
Bi thunner, drucht,
Or weety, sleety rain.
Ilkie steen luiks inwird
Nae chink in the ayebydan, clinkit chyne
Far sabbin wins makk eerie, fearie mane.
Auncient an eildritch as a widda's dirge
The circle croons the knowe;
Weird as a warlock's forge

It stauns alane.
A wummlin wirm, the mist wyves ben its weft
The faither-steen yokes noontime pouer o sun
The mither, milky bi meenlicht,
Is o aa warmth bereft.
Thon twa, the muckle flankers
Haive their lang shaddas far the corbies cooer
Dream their derk widdendremes

There is nae yett inbye...nae yett ootower
The littlins' spirk o life
Wis forged ower a flint altar
Weirin the wechty halter
0 eternity.
A birthin bed they cudna jink nur flee
Preened tae bitter air
That fussles winter-blawn
Throw their unhaly lair

The circle rears its ghaistly hull o been
A tomb... or temple cast in Druid steen.


25.Onchancy

Skailed satt..
A thoombfu flang in Auld Nick's ee
Ower the left showder, dispatched swippertly
Will some mishanter stop
Cheengin the weird yell dree

Dinna weir claes o green
Or sure's a cat's a hairy breet
Ye'll rig in murnin blaik Afore they're deen.

At the new meen
Niver glower ben glaiss
Lest aa yer fortunes soor
An turn tae aisse.

At Halloween,
Wauk saftly,
Fur the fooshty graveyaird kists
Are staunin teem.
Mind, speerits canna cross a rinnin bum
Efter a fearty quine, a fleggit gurin.
Be cannie, fur yon watter weel micht haud
The eildritch meer that bides aneth the flood
Wha tries tae tryst doomed watchers frae the shore.
Takk tent, an plant a rodden bi the door.

Fin midnicht brings the New year tae the Auld
Let nae fair-heidit first-fit ower the fauld
Or twal-month o ill-favour ye micht win
An niver bring inbye the flooerin whin
Fur yalla breem's the feys accursed flooer
Twill pyson the guidluck in ony booer.

Dyod lass, ye're ugsome. First o May, rin oot
An dicht the dyew o mornin ower yer snoot
Tae gie yer ill-faurt face a bonnie sheen
Or better still...gin a fite horse ye've seen
Wish fur a fire-new physog aathegither
An buy yersel a kist-fu o fite heather


26. Ma Saul an I gaed Waukin

Ma saul an I gaed waukin
The burnie flowed alang
We gaithered rowth o ikons
Tae steek intae a dwaum

Ma saul an I stude newsin
'Oh haud the meen fur me
An lowse the towes that tie the tides
Tae her cauld tyranny'

Ma saul tuik wing an left me
The wheels o wirk birred roon
A rose wis bit a ferlie
Fin as the dwaums dinged doon

The rose swalled tae a sunrise
An ben a sunbeam's crack
Alang the howes o fancy
Ma saul cam dauncin back


27. A Drap o Bluid Faas in the Wine

The bairnie at its mither's breist
Bides in a bield it sune maun tyne
A gorblie, cowpit frae its reest
A drap o blind faas in the wine

The halflin cairries at his core
The mortal guff will gar him dwine
A ratten chitters at his door
A drap o bluid faas in the wine

A lass pits on a gowden ring
A may, becam a merriet quire
A lintie clippit i' the wing
A drap o bluid faas in the wine

Sae suddent, as a glimsk o sun
That teets atween the derksome pine
Life's feenished e'r its scarce begun
A drap o bluid faas in the wine


28. Linn o Quoich

The Linn o Quoich comes rinkin doon
Far chieftains pledged their bluid in wine
Tae raise the clans, baith laird an loon
Fur princelins o the Stewart line.
An in yon lanely, curlew's airt
The deidly pact concludit, syne.

Aft in ma bairnhood in yon glen
The bonnie burnie teemed a gill
Aroon ma queats.lts watters played
A tackie game, as littlins will.

The waves war saft. They skelped an skirped
An skailed, as loud I skirled in glee
Wi shared delicht, we lowped like troots
Raisin a stooshie eidently.

It's forty year an mair sinsyne
It catched me in its glimmrin net
Tho noo I hirple, hippit, crine,
The Linn's as swack's a littlin yet.


29. Hinna Gotta

Hinna gotta bairnie
Hinna gotta lass
Hinna gotta hope 'n' Hell o
Gettin ony brass

Nae wirk fur young fowk
Wytin in the queue
Staunin wi the lay-affs
Hingin roon the Broo

Sez tae the cooncil
'Hae ye a hoose fur me? '
'Come back fin yer ninety
Ye'll hae priority..

If ye'd a timmer leg
Or a babby in a pram
Ye micht staun a chance son
Gang hame tae yer mam.'

Main disna wint me
It's fecht, fecht, fecht
Mebbe she wis young hersel
In echteen-echty echt

Dog-pish, hashish
Aa I wint's a hame
Jist grant me ae wish
A place tae caa ma ain
Ony kindo cubbyhole
A place tae coorie doon
Then ye widna hae tae thole
Me dossin roon the toon.

Birds hae their nesties
Biggit in a tree
Gerron mister Cooncil man
Bigg a hoose fur me!


30. Scots Owersetts frae the Elek Buik o Oriental Verse...


KOREAN YUN SON-DO (1587-1671)

SANG 0 THE FIVE FIERS

Foo mony fiers hae I?
Coont them...
Watter & stane,
Bamboo an pine sae braw
The risin meen on the eastern Ben
Weel-lued, a frien anna. We niver strive
Nae need say I
Tae hae mair fiers nor five.

MALAY TWA TRADITIONAL MALAY PANTUNS
They weir bangles on their airms
I weir bangles roon ma queats.
They say, 'Dinna dae yon, ye tyke.'
I dae fit I damnt weel like!

Aaeech! Jobbit ma fit
On a stob in the bog.
Aaeech! Hurtit ma een
Watchin her briests stot
Unner her sark.


TAMIL KIN (ORERURAVANAR)

Like a deer, catched in a tinchel
On the braid fite, satty shore
Flayed hide turned ootside in

Ye may rin,
Taste freedom sweet...
Bidin wi kinsmen
Anely chynes the feet.


TAGALOG (PHILLIPINES)

Hoose-Warmin Sang

Auld caimb, auld caimb,
Untaigle the raivelled thochts
0 them wi'in, tae guid frae wirse
As ye've whyles caimbed ma hair
Fan yirdit wi dubs an girse,
May they fa cross this yett
Be pure in thocht
May they niver differ in ocht
Be smeeth's deep-rinnin watter
Calm's a nicht May-vrocht
Watter in the coggie
Be cweel's a widlan spring
Be still's an auncient Ben
Be saft's the eastern win
In the Simmer sizzen
That they aneth this reef
Be ayewis couthie an kind,
An open-lugged tae rizzen

Sweel oot the orra mou
Keep harns free o teint
Sae claik, daybrak tae gloam
Bring quate content.

Bleeze brichtly, licht
Hansel this hoose
Fleg shaddas awa
That derk thochts may takk flicht
Nae deave the fowk inby
Sikkin a bield ahin this waa
Licht the chikks, broos, heids
0 the fowk that bide herein
Keep them an their bairnies' bairns
Free o stramash an din.

CHINESE 8 LINE SONNET

HAN YU (768-824) (LATE TANG)

A WIZZENT TREE

Nae twig, nae leaf on the auld tree
Ayont the hairm o cranreuch or o win
A chiel cud wanner ben the hole in its teem wame
Ettercaps wummle aneth its beilin bark
Its anely ludger's a taedsteel that dees in a morn
Birds veesit, nae langer, at gloamin
Still yon timmer can ay fire kinnlin...
Nae sikkin, as yet, tae be anely the gap at its hairt


TANG YIN (1470-1523)

SCREIVED FUR A PICTUR

Yestreen, the gean
Tint its flooers amang draps o rain
The faa o petals, sae slicht, sae easy-bladdit
Wis bonnie ayont aa wirds

Ma dearie, waukenin early,
Quit her bedroom
Haudin a keekin-glaiss
Tae admire her peintit chikks.

She speirs, 'Fit think ye's bonnier?
The petals' luiks or mine? '
An I repon, 'They win bi innocence.'

At yon, her birse is up
The quine winna allow
Deid flooers surpass a leevin wummin
Teirin a neivefu o blossom
Tae haive at ma heid -
'The nicht, ma jo, ' roars she,
'Sleep wi the flooers! '



31. OWERSETTINS FRAE 'LIGHT OF LIGHTS', AN ANTHOLOGY OF
SPIRITUAL POETRY FROM THE ASHRAM OF SRI AUROBINDO,
PONDICHERRY, INDIA

'Let the wee trauchled life-god inby
Rive his cloots frae the still sowel
His tiger-strips o guidness an coorseness
His stramash & glamourie, his thole & wae'.

Sri Aurobindo... 'Musa Spritus'


'Knowe efter knowe we dimmed an noo
We spied the hinmaist muckle broo
The towerin crag that nane hae trod
Ae stride, an aa is lift, an God.'

Sri Aurobindo: 'One Day the Little More'.


32. OWERSET IN SCOTS FRAE EXTRACTS IN 'PRAYER HANDBOOK 1988-ENCOUNTERS'

'Enjoy the yird doucely
Enjoy the yird doucely
Fur gin the yird be bladdit
It canna be made hale
Enjoy the yird doucely'
(from a West African Yoruba poem)


'The Ian is oor mither
The bluid o oor bein
Oor speerit- guide, oor kin-makk
Tae us, the Ian is leevin.
We are a part o Ian
An Ian is pairt o us.'
(Australian Aborigine)


JAPANESE BARDS

LADY ONO NO KOMACHI (834-880)
Mindin on him,
I sleepit, anely tae see him
Rise up afore me sae lythely
Hid I kent it wis anely a dream
I'd niver hae waukened sae blythely
.
Flooers crine, their hues dwinnle awa
Ochone, life is hummlin
I dree ma weird in the warld
Wi the lang rain hunmlin

ANONYMOUS (PRE 905)

If anely, fin ye war telt
Auld Age wis at haun
Ye cud sneck the door wi a dyst
Cry 'Nae at hame'
Sae daein, jink the tryst!


ZEN DEATH POEM

Fower an fifty years
I've strung the lift wi starns
Noo I lowp throw,
Aa's caad tae crockanation!
Dogen
JAPANESE HAIKU Owersett frae Inglis translations


Strivin... Ma clachan;
Kirk bell, Dragonflees
Winter win. Dane, fite waas.
Kito Buson


Reeshlin thegither — Auld puil.
Heids o barley, Lowp-splyter!
Butterflee. A puddock!
... Lady Kana-Jo Buson


Steadin's brunt doon. Bens o Yoshino...
Noo, Drappin petals,
I can see the meen! Quaffin doon the lift.
Masahide Buson


33. OWERSET IN SCOTS, FRAE EXTRACTS IN 'PRAYER HANDBOOK 1988 – ENCOUNTERS'

'I wis angeret fur I hid nae sheen.
Syne, I met a chiel fa hid nae feet.'
(Chinese Saying)


'A caunle-licht is a protest at midnicht.
It is a Wee Free.
It says tae the derkness,
'Wi ye, I'll argy-bargy'
Samuel Rayan, India


34. THE LEDDIE SHE RIDES JIMP N' SMA

*The leddie she rides jimp n' sma
Jimp n' sma, imp n' sma
The leddie she rides jimp n' sma
Bit the gentleman he rides
Creels n' aa creels n' aa creels n' aa*

The sheltie he rides weel on snaw
Weel on snaw, weel on snaw
The sheltie he rides weel on snaw
Bit ower the dykes he disna!

The shire he rides heich an braw,
Heich an braw, heich an braw
The shire he rides heich an braw
A shilpit steed he isna!

The cuddy he roared oot hee-haw
Oot hee-haw, oot hee-haw
The cuddy he roared oot hee-haw
A clivvir breet he wisna!


35. THE HINDU & THE PANDA

'Ye wint mair savoir-faire, Jamal', they said
An gied the job tae Willy Bloggs instead
A peely-wally eejit, bit I gaither
The chiel fa did the hirin kent his father.

'Jamal', I speired, 'Dis it nae weir ye doon
Bein short-cheenged because yer colour's broon?
Foo div YE view the natives o this place? '
Lauchin, quo he 'We're aa ae human race
Tho some's as couthie as an anaconda.
A British wifie looks fell like a panda
Tae me, fin rain his blootered her mascara.
Whether yer name be Smith or Macnamara
If ye be under par, or deaved wi ills
Ye turn as green's a puddock roon the gills
Wi hair like biled tripe, or limp spaghetti
As sexually invitin as a yeti...
An gin yer blate, ye blush tomatae-reid
Gyang grey as wattered parridge fin yer deid.
Leavin aside yer spikk, claes, incidentals
Ye luik the same tae me, ye occidentals.
Bit fit's the odds? Gin Hindus gar ye cowk
Scrat in aneth the skin, we're anely fowk
Sae dinna peety me. My trials are mony
Bit I've mair lives tae come... ye, hinna ony


36.MOOSIE

*There wis a little moosie
An it left its little hoosie
An it sneakit up, an creepit up
Intil the baimie's bosie*

It powked its pynted nosie
In the bosie warm n' cosie.
An it curled up an kittled up
Wi taesies reid n' rosy.

The bairn let oot a skirl
Gart the moosie's luggies dirl
The moose did faa. It ran awa
Bit thanked him fur the hurl!


36. STINKIE

•Chin-chinnie, mou merry
Ee winkie, broo brinkie
An ower the hillies An awa tae stinkie*

The stinkie is a fearsome place
The hippens hap frae sicht
An whyles, the bairnie skirls tae say
The stinkie needs a dicht


37.THE BITIN GAME

*Knock on the doorie,
Teetie in
Lift the sneckie
Dicht the feeties
An walkie in*

A bairn's mou
Is stappit fu
Wi nesty raws o teeth
An gin it nips yer fingers
Ye'll be heard at Monyfeith!


38. A THISTLE LUIKS AT A DRUNK MAN

A thistle luiks upon a chiel deid-drunk
Aa pish an blethers... fu o fusky-spunk
'His wife will bairn nae Wallace wi yon randy
Faith aa he's fit tae play is cock-a-bendy
The Flooers o the Forest's wede awa
Scot's patriotism's peed agin the waa'
The thistle murned.
'The maist o men's aa mou
Teem-tabards, T.V. tots, or ram-stam-fu.'


39. THE PUNK

Ye throwither sumph. Fur aa yer wirth
Ye sud hae bin drooned in a pail at birth!
Ay.. turn yer back on's.. powk yer plonks
Yer heid sud be doon in yer science buiks

Spikkin o heids.... ye needna glower
Ye'd hae gotten a snodder clip wi a mower
Isn't it cauld, tae be scrapit bare
0 aa bit the stibble o fit wis hair?

It's nae. It's the fashion. A croon like a neep?
Fa'd hae thocht I'd hae bred a sheep?
The neebours speired if the tirrivee
Wis the stereo stoonin, or world war 3;
The din is threatenin tae raise the reef
It's a peety yer thrawn, as weel as deef.

Bide ooto yer room? Stap tee yer door?
Sez you, fa's rikkin frae ilkie pore
0 fags, like a squib or steamin sharn
Puffin awa like a bleezin barn

I've declared yer room a disaster zone.
While I'm aboot it, leave the phone
On the hook. The wires maun gey near melt
Bi the time yer tales hiv aa bin telt.

I ken that laddies pyocher an spit
Bit dinna dae it far fowk maun sit!
An fit's yon pictur abune yer ludo..
O fowk, bare-nyaakit, attemptin judo?
Biology is it? Lord be here,
It's a winner they dinna faa throw the fleet!
Ye cud grow tatties aneth yon nails
Is ONYTHING waur nur teenage males?
Ye didna sikk tae be born, ye say?
I'd hae raither hid jaunice onyday
If ye'd bin on trial fae a mairket staa
I'd hae taen ye hame fur a wikk or twa
Taen yer measure an pit ye back
Fur a tabby cat, an a Tarot pack
An a crystal baa, that I micht jink
Bein sib tae the likes o a teenage mink


39.SNOOT N' MOU

Gritty, nutty, sheltie-broon
A guff o coffee lowps the yett
A furly, birly snake o rikk
Twines frae the kitchie, birsslin hett

Wersh in the mou, yon seerip, soor
Jeelip o potion fur a hoast
As nippy's ony crocodile
That slidders aff the Afrik coast

Draiglit wi daisies, droggt wi dyew
A tapsalteerie bout o hye
The cuttit girse cowpt ower the park
Yoams in the sunlicht doon the ley

A classroom thrang wi strang an swyte
Its brods are choked wi chacky stoor
Wi fooshty hose an clarty claes
The air catched in yon staa, is soor

Leather. A lick o linseed ile
Tae swacken hide an soople threid
Sae rich an roon the whiff o tan
On sheen an satchel, squirrel-reid

Fuskey's a thummelfu o flame
Kitties the queats an fires the face
Peat broon, or clear's a muirlan burn
That jibbles doon, like leddy's lace

Dulse is a stank o orra trock
Sea-midden slivers in a broth
O satt. Rank codgut sweels inby
A bree o putrefeein froth

Yird yarkit open bi the pleu
Yields up a yoam tae skirlin gulls
O Winter's daith, an Simmer's growth
Far breem reets mell like shipwrecked hulls

An gin I steek ma neb mang thyme
(Dried nippick o a mountain's braith)
The reef abune me dwines tae mist
The carpet, blooms wi fern, aneth.


40. OF PHARAOHS AND SARDINES

Tut-ankh-amen, heid-yin o the dunes
Cairriet a veritable Tescos
0 wine, fruit, guid fite breid
Doon tae the fooshtie dwellin o the deid.
(Fur iver an ay yon wizzened runkled prune
Embalmed loon, maun watch an enless matinee
0 hieroglyphics. Same show ilkie day)

Tinned like a sprat, A deity hapt in gowd
(Neither at hame in the warld
Nur yet in heevin.)
In pit-mirk limbo, happit in hippens
Clartit wi peintit symbols o the leevin
Nailed doon wioot an opener in his shroud.

I've kent langtime nae pooches line a kist
Nae mochie mausoleum bigg fur me
Na. I'll be grist tae the mill
Pickle sardines an Pharaohs gin ye will
I'll gie ma braith tae cloud
Ma flesh tae glaur
Gang far ben wi the yird
Nae Lazarus-lowps I'll makk... ye hae ma wird
I'll nae flegg fearty bairns wi orra duddies
Waggin been shanks wi mort-claiths teem o hurdies.


41. THE GOWFER For Charles King

There's some say 'Lowp'
An t'ithers, ''Foo far? '
In poleetical maitters ye maun shakk a leg
Tae satisfee cooncil, constituent craiturs
Feenancial dictators, ye hae tae be gleg.

Publishin poetry, or heistin a bard
Is as fashious an fyky as drawin the teeth
Frae an ill-naturet futterat
A Sisyphus darg
That's muckle ill-thankit, frae Lewis tae Leith

Gowf's the remeid. Ae guid skelp at the baa
Doon the girse tae the green, till it's pottit an hame
Fair sherpens the smeddum that's nocht tae succeed
In ceevic affairs far the aim is the same
Tae win yer objectives an Laurels, ye maun
Gyang wallop straicht furrit, ay jinkin the san.


42. THE SHELT

Wis there IVER a bairn tae heed fit it's telt?
Fur the 99th time, YER NAE GETTIN A SHELT
Tae prance like a laird roon a show or gymkhana
I'd raither ye speired fur a snake, or pirhana.

I bocht ye a rubbit. An fa redds it oot
Picks the flechs frae its lugs an the dubs frae its snoot?
Far war ye fin Thumper lowped ooto his pen
Chased the Morrison's cat roon the lamppost an then
Wi the wyle o Houdini slid unner their gate
An ett their chrysanthemums doon at the rate
0 a combine in hairst, takkin aathin clean in
Veggies, flooers an girse, wioot dichtin his chin?

Ye roared fur a gerbil. Finiver it come
It tuik aff like a rocket, an shot up the lum
Fin we raikit it oot wi a poker, its tail
An its fuskers war blaik as the coal in the pail
It wis cairtit awa wi a terrible hoast
As stiff, broon, an mochie's Methuselum's toast.

Neist, ye MAUN hae a hamster.
A whyle, ye war quate
I deared oot its piddles.
It cockit in state
Ye bosied an clapt it the bigsy wee moose
Syne ye drapt it. It chawed aa the wires in the hoose
It connached the TV.. clean blootered the screen
An drooned in the rinse o the washin machine.

The goldfish ye grat fur cud lowp like a Rusky
Espeecially efter ye dosed it wi fusky
It lowpit sae heich tapsalteerie it fell
An efter yon dunt, it wis niver itsel
It lay an it chittered.. a wee, nervous beastie
A shakk in its tail an a fleg in its briestie.

Twa days wi the guinea-pigs aa ye'd agree
Noo it skirls aa its lane, like a stikkit banshee
It's wyes lavatories minky at maist
Staunin up tae its oxters, in recyded waste.

Bit ye maun hae a shelt.
Oh, ye MAUN hae a shelt
An the lave o the pets can ging flee, or be selt

Sae, far wid it bide? In the greenhoose? The lobby?
Gin YE hid yer wye, lady, I'd be the cuddy!


43. THE DINOSAUR

A dinosaur! A dinosaur!
We niver saw the like afore
The beastie makks the bairnies roar
Frae Sumburgh tae Singapore!

A dinosaur! His muckle moo
Has teeth as lang as knives,
An fin he roars the tabby
Losses as its seeven lives!

A dinosaur! His ilkie snore
Caas continents ajee,
An fin he piddles lochs arise
As braid's the Irish sea!

A dinosaur! Fit dis he ett? A herd o coos fur tea!
He sweels it doon wi a lagoon,
0 vats o barley bree!

A dinosaur! His head's amang
The aeroplanes an stars
His legs are pylons... tail's as lang's
A traffic jam o cars!

A dinosaur's a fearsome breet
Fin it lies doon tae claw...
Bit fin it daunces... hae a care
Skyscrapers stert tae faa!


44. TAKK THE BUCKLES FRAE YER SHEEN
(Traditional verse, sung to Kelvin Grove)

Tak the buckles frae yer sheen, bonnie lassie-oh
For yer dauncin days are deen, bonnie lassie-oh
Tho they say yer feet are flat
Ye are nane the waur o that
Takk the buckles frae yer sheen, bonnie lassie-oh


45. THE TATTIEBOGLE

The tattiebogle wags his heid
Derk shadda ower the yird
He's hingin sterk an crucifeed
The dreid o ilkie bird

His jaiket pooch, a moosie hauds
His kyte's a kirn o strae
An ben the air his fooshty duds
Gyang wallop, nicht an day

The sentry o the dubby park
Preened tae a timmer post
Ye mind, fin Winter made its merk
I sweir I heard him hoast!


46. BALLAD

Oh cauld's the doonrush o a burn
In Winter's iron thraa
Bit caulder still's a merriege bed
Fin luv his stowen awa

Far niver gowden sun luiks doon
Sae derk's the gairden booer
Bit derker yet's the hairt o man
Far skaith an sorra cooer.

Oh deep's a dreich an dowie loch
Far salmon niver sweems
Bit deeper still's the cruel mire
That smores a bairn's dreams

Oh I wad don the goun sae green
Wi lilies hap ma heid
An like Tam Lin, the elfin knicht
Step ower the burn o bluid

That rins atween this eirdly warld
An kingdom o the fey
Far niver mortal feet may gyang
Nor mortal thochts bring wae.


47. Daybrak.

The storm beeriet
In the snaw
: frae Shiro (1742-1813)


In a doon-pish in June
The reef is dreepin
As I gyang tae the wattery:
frae Kanro

Ontae the cauld san'
Waves cam breengin
Ooto pit-mirk
: frae Aro (1879-1951)

Petals skitter an faa
Frae the boughs
Ben the meen's physog:
frae Mokkoku

Tae the sun-rise abune the sea
A cock craws
Its braith, rikkin
: frae Takeo (1908-)

A drap o dyew
Gaed the ant
A stammygaster
: frae Bosha (1900-)

Snaw in the gloamin
Taps at the yett
The soun is saft:
frae Joyo

Ower the stanes
Traivels the sang
0 the winter burn
frae Ito

Waukin forrit wi a new-cut flouer
Intae the foreneen sun
Barfit
: frae Masao


48.OCTOBER

Near Mairtimas.. the lowerin lift
Is blae's the breistie o a doo
That rochles in the shargeret wid
Far thrissledown wauchts by like oo

Crammosie, yalla, tod-reid-broon
The lowsin leaves yark aff the bough
Takk flicht an flee, like chitterin birds
That brak frae birktaps, roon the howe.

The burns rin swack, like rowth o troot
Cauld, lowpin waves atween the trees
October wi its burnin brand
Has touched an kinnelt tae a bleeze

An ilkie breet maun theek its reef
An hap its heid afore the win
That scythes the bracken on the brae
Tummles the strae, an shakks the whin.

There's lear ye dinna larn in buiks
Nae leevin thing can thole blin smore
Coorse Winter fuspers frae the neuks
'The warld is deein. Snib yer door.'