Ask Agony Aunt Poem by .Pd. is here

Aunty, I need help
How do I stop thinking about him?
(Oh! Good heaven
You are in love,
You’ve been blessed from above
Go take help from Love Guru
On this matter, I cannot help you.)

Aunty, I need help
How do I manage my finances better?
(That’s a vicious circle you’re caught in
Have you been spending like a king?
Or been a gambler?
Go see a Personal Finance Manager
I can be of no help on this matter.)

Aunty, I need help
My grades at school are dropping.
(My Child, that is an area of concern
Tell me, if you’ve been wasting your time,
Hanging with pals and just shopping?
You need a tutor, the best one in town
He’ll raise your grades, hence this offer to help you,
I’ll have to turn down.)

Aunty, I need help
In finding a good cause for donation.
(Now, you’re talking sense
I can suggest a wonderful cause option.
Drop your money in the box on that bench
I’ll give it to cancer patients,
Orphanages and some for my own pocket…
Oops...Did I say my ‘pocket’? ?
I meant to say ‘for other ailments’)

Agony Aunt, You were of no help
You want to take away the donation money
And eat tummy full and the riches to flaunt.
Suggesting me to go to Love Guru,
Personal Finance Manager and a tutor
You are a cheat, your help I do not value.
You didn’t live up to Agony aunt name
Now I’m aware of your game.

(No, No, My child you do not understand
There are problems in life to which
I cannot lend my helping hand
But for everything else
There is this Agony Aunt)

(10 July 2006.)