Ashley, Baby Poem by Andrus Cassian

...and it cuts like a dagger so sharp
to hear your ear piercing scream through the fog
and into the house where I lay on the couch
whispering to no one but the silent ceiling above me
I am not worth as much as you think
I am not worth much of anything
I am not worth the love you have for me
I am not worth the attraction you see, modesty...
Honestly, I am not the man you seek
I'm hiding too deep in the illusion of the meek
What would you say, truly say
if I said I lied to you all along
that to your fright, at first sight
I was determined to throw you away
my cruelest intentions described like a vague prescription
Can you forgive me, I doubt it so
Can you forgive me, I don't know
Ashley, baby, can we start over; press restart
let this blow over like a tumbleweed and start anew
I admit I made my mistakes and take fault in them all
so let me introduce myself again
'Hello my name is Jake' but I feel so fake
the words I wanted to blurt out
were erased in the fire of burning desire
to cast you away, come back to say it's ok
and laugh right in your face
as you label me 'disgrace' after looking me in the eyes
but I was wrong ungratefully, satisfactorily?
Never can it be, Ashley, baby
you gave me the keys to your world with trust
while I had none to give
you, a pebble in my hand only weighted with sand
and it cuts like a dagger so sharp
to hear her ear piercing scream through the dark
cut into the fog, entering the house
where I lay, face down on the couch
like an ostrich in fright
as I turn up blind and lifeless
unable to bear witness to the sight of tears staining
staining your starry eyes
twin puddles created by a fountain bathing in twinkling sunlight
Ashley, baby...remember me fondly