Connor Whyte

Rookie - 5 Points (March,30th,1993 / Montana)

As I Lay Dying


As I lay dying I breath my final Breaths, My last dying breath I call to you, I call to you in confusion, I am not what people think I am, I use this body as A disguise, My dreams are my cover to my confusion, I try and push my dreams down but it is just a replay of the things that I have done wrong.

This substance I take to erase my thoughts are fading and to which I have grown used to, Use to the feeling, I am numb and my words seem untrue, Which is real I do not know, Is this life I am living just another excuse to fail, I have fallen we have all fallen, I push the meaning of existence, I push you like I have pushed away my real self.

As I lay dying I know I have fallen to the truth that is painful, I use these words to speak to the real me that is in hiding, The real me was weak and the new me is surrounded in untold misery, Black demons call to me they drag me to the depth of meaning, Meaning I have felt to deny.

The wraith of decision makes our words unclear, The distance between life and death makes our words distant, The fog calls to me and drowns the image of myself, This fog makes our views hard to judge as we can not see through the thickness and density that surrounds us.

For every step I take I get more lost in this fog that keeps building, I have lost my way and circle in my steps as I don't know where to go, Wait for the light that never seems to come so it can burn the heaviness that makes the oxygen hard to breath, We were put on this place by free will, Look what we have done No one deserves to have the will giving to us, We abuse it like we abuse ourselves, If there was A god why would he let this keep happening, I have found no faith in you as you have no faith in humanity.

As I lay dying I call to the sky in need of vision I am blind to see what has buried me is it man or is it me? For I am both Man and
shadow.

Submitted: Sunday, April 01, 2012
Edited: Monday, April 02, 2012

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  • Rookie Bethany M. (2/8/2013 12:15:00 AM)

    I love this. The message it sends as well as the expression of personal struggle and wonderings make it come together nicely! :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 33 Points Sandy Player (1/10/2013 5:21:00 PM)

    bitterness and confusion. maybe those are the prevalant feelings when death slips herself in. good thoughts mixed with the disclarity you spoke of with the confusion (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mandi June (1/1/2013 7:48:00 PM)

    A very powerful piece... It's so wonderful to find another soul who can express themselves with such emotion... Feeling and worrying are two different things, entirely, but you do a marvelous job of expressing your felons and connecting to the reader... You must have gone through some a very difficult time: (I'm very sorry for that, but UT had clearly sculpted you into a fine poet... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Fallen Angel (4/27/2012 7:57:00 PM)

    Very nice poem. I know exactly how you feel. Keep up the good work :) love this poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Effie Ellsworth (4/25/2012 8:00:00 PM)

    I is written very well, and I can definately feel what you are feeling and relate to it.. it's very good (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Jessie Jett (4/1/2012 9:35:00 PM)

    The words in this are wonderful. Portraying what is inside, infused withoutside. What you have to hide, and not being unsure. I like how you used the fog, as being amiss to what you are longing for. For the blind and abandoned will be seen. You make unclear, to thoose black demons, for what you longing in yourself, seems to a mystery. The rain, and the storm, quite foggy weather, but do not worry for it can't rain forever.............. Wonderful, exquisite writing. (Report) Reply

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