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Soren Valentine


Artlessly Deceptive


O fire-tongued faery, serene and mute,
how your elements have consumèd my heart,
leading me, bending me without dispute;
with thine evil yet comely art!

Sith we met for the evening pealing,
my spirit is vexed, yet this you ken,
because you've caused this damned fool's feeling,
Betrayed; is this the fate of all men?

I watch for her, alert and shy,
lest favourably I fall to her insipid love,
At length I wish I would die!
or otherwise fly to the serene above.

Inveigled into a love poignant and languished,
for ever yearning to see her aetherial wings,
to relish in her grandeur; a freedom relinquished,
enthralled for whilst voiceless she sings.

In fealty I lived to this queen and her demesne,
in reward I would hear her quire,
but under her spell I no longer remain,
maugre her being my heart's Desire.

Submitted: Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, January 02, 2013

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  • Rookie - 781 Points Thomas A Robinson (2/26/2013 6:18:00 PM)

    Hamlet: whether in sea or fire, in earth or air, ...no fairy takes nor witch hath power to charm, so hallowed
    and...but break my heart, for I must hold my tongue.
    Spiced with archaic words your poem delivers doube meanings...sith, since or is it sith the arch enemy of the
    Jedi sworn to serve the force of the darkness..
    Who is she? Or more importantly what is she?
    You leave only tantalizing clues.
    You have severely beat around the bush
    but none of the berries have fallen (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (1/26/2013 8:12:00 AM)

    See this is my big problem... I had to look up the meaning of too many words so for me personally it lost flow in places. I get the gist but then struggled to submerge into the deeper feelings. But someone who had more smarts than me would get those encased phrases and it would connect better. Even though she drives you mad and is a bit if a cow, you can't help but fall for her. Then you have had enough and move on........ I am rambling on because I am being honest and its my problem I guess. X x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Alla Simone (1/19/2013 7:08:00 PM)

    Second to last stanza is definitely my favorite. Such intense, yet relatable emotions deliciously detailed in eloquent, admirable language. You can feel this piece of writing as it's being read. Heavy, and dripping with captivation. Thanks for sharing. Pieces like this remind me that you are actually a genius ;) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Alexis ... (1/3/2013 11:41:00 PM)

    You are clearly on a roll.....absolutely fabulous. This is the kind of poem that everyone should appreciate to it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Aria Siren (1/3/2013 4:05:00 PM)

    I can't say enough about this piece. It is absolutely one of my favourites. The language is lush and beautiful-as if the writer is painting a portrait of his muse with bright brushstrokes on a canvas. The first and fourth verses are my personal favourites but the whole thing is excellent. Filled with relatable feelings and honesty as always. (Report) Reply

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