Russell Nero

(May 25th,1995)

Arkansas Anxiety


Have I fallen to the back of the line
Have I finally conformed
and forgot where my home is
Not really, not in the least
I've just preoccupied myself with relentless faulty tasks
distracted myself with treacherous emotions
Maybe reason why my goals have yet to be obtained
I only managed to have one successful, unforgettable year
to show for my dedication and concentration
As much as I try to step up
go beyond the boundary line of what I hope to achieve
laziness kicks in or a depression shaped lightening bolt
blasts the mountain I previously scaled
and sends me tumbling back down the base
I realize I just need a break
I realize I just need to leave
I'm just ready to leave
Homesickness keeps locating me on its GPS
and I can't fight it anymore
5 days, too long of a wait
3 days until my birthday celebration
2 more school days to pull through until I'm home bound
No repeats, I know I eventually have to return
but I need this time to brush off
all the pressures, all the expectations
and everything in those bad memories still haunting me
Could you picture a day where
I'm smiling, laughing loudly and having fun
being the kid I want to be instead of taking on
the responsibilities of the adult I've not grown into yet
Somehow 365 days without breaks is my job because I manage
to work my fingers to the bone
It's time to break my cycle and get some air
time to go home and see everybody
I haven't seen in two years
All these plain faces and infamous places
are becoming old but aren't going anywhere
I just want to go home...
time to break the cycle
Get some fresh air and finally be free
Time to go home to the unfamiliar faces and famous places
I really miss
Time to finally just be...Me

Submitted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 04, 2013

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