Anything Good On The Telly? Poem by Denis Martindale

I was happier with one channel
A long, long time ago...
To watch, record and plan all
The programmes it would show...
Along came 2 and 3 and 4
And then came number 5...
And after that, Sky brought us more,
For me and for the wife...
We then got Virgin Media,
With TV, Broadband, phone...
And then my wife got greedier,
So we took out a loan...
I got a brand new aerial
And climbed up on the roof...
I fell off and the wounds won't heal,
I also broke a tooth...
At last we're getting Freeview
And so we cancelled Sky...
We dropped Virgin Media, too...
And one whole month passed by...
September's retune wasn't good
For neighbours in our street...
Now no-one in the neighbourhood
Gets Freeview, once so sweet.
We've all been told we must upgrade
From boxes that went wrong...
And throw away the ones they made
That didn't work for long...
So off I went to try again
For bargains I could find...
Some boxes were beyond my ken
And put me in a bind...
December's retune's on its way...
God knows what happens next!
I think I'll wait till Christmas Day,
So I won't get perplexed!
I might return to Sky, who knows?
I'll have to wait and see...
I could get lucky, I suppose...
And win the lottery!