Anniversary Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Anniversary

Six years gone words remain
They’ve gone deep; are bullets

I had come day before
It was warm though was cold

Little heart in her beat while waiting
I, inside, questions; they interrogating

Took hours till we joined
“Where are they? ” in my throat

She was alone.

In dark times, in my dreams
I’d always thought of them

Family; all of us united

Once my Ex made a trip on her own
Went around with her niece; all alone

Her way changed; she turned boss.

Our good days, times spent
All turned fog, steam, dust.

Her head now her buttocks
A stove in her mouth

On that day; of six year
Daughter cried; she shouted

I had come, just arrived
Out was cold, I'd been lost

I did best; kept silent
Now at me she shouted

“I don’t want, ” this or that.
“Keep me out, ” of your mind.

I, silent; heard her say
Poor our sons; our daughter

They saw me like flame
Of my pains unaware

Their mother chewed the rope
Broke chain; did her work.

Rosary; beads rolled out
Family matchsticks, one and one

Scattered, out of touch
Occasions, we at war

Son rose voice and ordered;
Suffers deep; I packed left

Like before my mouth shut
I entailed this current

Became bomb with efforts.

I’ll be sun, moon-comet
After hit make crate

It’s for them; their shelter
I’ll be gone, I’ll be dead

We old ones get older
If away; less burden

Returned mail that I’d sent
How harmful this message

Love, kindness and feelings
Poisonous; all are dead.

What is next?
I wonder.