Edgard Canales P

(Nicaragua)

Anger In My Heart


Anger in my heart
at times I want to snap
and fall apart.
I won't lie
I hold a grudge deep inside,
So pray to God and ask him to protect me
and keep me doing right.
I have changed so much since I came out of prison
no more doing dirt with my niggas
But God knows I still miss em.
Still smoke to ease the pain
light one up just to keep me sane.
I thank God for every thing I went through to get to where I'm at,
thank HIM for all those people I met along the way and that's a fact.
Obstacles made me mumble and even stumble but never brake.
I thank HIM for all those people who were real and the fake.
This is a small tribute,
To all the people who TRIED
to help me do good through the years,
When I was screaming Thug Life
In my heart, I felt no love and had no fear.
Not even the shadow of who I was in the past
A teen on the highway of life
with no direction and moving fast.
Still walk around looking mad
like somewhere I along the way
I lost my joy so it's hard for me to laugh.
Finally see the big picture,
I finally understand
and finally comprehend
Why your effort to help me
never broke or bend.
Wish there was some way
I could show you,
I'm grateful for sticking by me back in the days.
But there's not
so I write this letter hoping one day
You, on paper might read my sincere thoughts.
My mother who I really don't have to say
gave me unconditional love through all my troubled phase.
Jose Chavez my father and my hero
who I watched work for us day and night
without ever stopping to even look in the mirror.
Never judged me no matter what
My siblings remained loyal
by my side because like me they are built for a tuff.
Even though both relationships ended wrong
I appreciate my baby's mothers,
cause the heart ache and pain just made me strong.
So much people in my life,
who cared enough
that in my darkness they shared their light.
Mrs. Smith from Booker T.
knew I never went to class
so she kept me in her office so school I wouldn't leave.
Jennifer program coordinator of the school where I used to go
she took time out off her busy schedule to help,
try and talk some sense in to this little boy.
Mr. Leroy,
was my probation officer
who kept me out of jail even when my act was awful.
These last 3 were not my family or my next of kin
so I put them in my poem to let them know
I consider them all more than just friends.
Been a long and bumpy road since
Riverside & Douglass elementary school
and all these people believed in me when nobody would.
There were other people who I did not forget
just can't put everyone cause the list will never end.
Anger in my heart
at times I want to snap
and fall apart.
when I do
I close my eyes, count to 10
and think of every last one of you,
Thank you all for trying to help me make it through.
Anger in my heart
at times I want to snap
and fall apart.

Submitted: Monday, July 18, 2011
Edited: Friday, July 22, 2011

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