Analysis Poem by Paula Puddephatt

I think it through
analyse
then analyse the analysis
dissecting remembered conversations
in my mind
fragments of
half-forgotten conversations
searching
for hidden meanings
double meanings
searching for words
that I could
have said
instead
of the ones that I did
or the ones that I did not
regretting the silences
that should have been
filled with words
the words
that should
have been silences
or different words
wishing that I
could write
alternative scripts
with fresh dialogue
wishing that the
real conversations
could have been
drafts