Russell Nero

(May 25th,1995)

An Illusionist, A Pebble Among Stones


I don't know about you
but I know about me
I'm going to stick my head in the
trunk of a tree
Reject myself, mission society
Am I crumbling all over again
what does it matter
I'm shards of disassembled being never put back together
unraveled rope
I can act like somebody else
chameleon boy
but I'd rather be who I see myself in daydreams
the pessimistic kid drenched in black
like I've bathed in ink and false hopes
now let me start by saying
my days have grown darker than the clouds outside
I once had paper wings
but they burned in a fire
stupid of me to think I could fly off
in a happy ever after
I never officially admitted this
guess I should confess
I'm only a boy, not a man
age can't define me as much yet
I'm just a stupid boy
an illusionist with the ability to see
illusions in my sleep
but carry an illusion that I can stand
the life given to me
when I'm still breaking like rusted metal
and dented glass
I'm just a pebble in a field of stones
a weakling among the strong
a soldier among marines
the suspense is killing me
my head is the clouds for all the wrong reasons
I breathe air only to find it rancid
I write only to delete the limits
but I've obtained limits with a broken ligament
I've tried living free
but I'm always restrained
inside I'm an animal, caged and locked away
outside I'm a ghost, fading and strange
but life only lets me be a hopeless romantic
with unbreakable boundaries that I can't...
why can't I live my life how I want it
why can't I write my own story
why can't I get revenge
strike back the wall that struck me first
strike back at the one who causes
these tears to run down my face...
Why am I always the mouse
in these stupid games
trying to find my own way out...

Submitted: Sunday, September 01, 2013
Edited: Monday, September 02, 2013

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