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Jahan zaib

Rookie - 27 Points (February 05,1981 / Malakand Pakistan)

An end before the start

Standing in incessant rain
In the bitter cold
Under a leafless half fallen tree
Waited I, as waited in the days old
Saw many walking in pairs
Each others arm they did hold
I waited and waited and waited
In my fantasies I saw
With that familiar smile
Come running for me from a mile
Hands open, eyes wide, with a flower in the hand
This way you always greet me
Always I received you so
Wanted I reveal all my feels
Secrets hidden in my heart coward
But today
Till evening, kept I waiting
Returned without the hug
Your warm hug
All along the road,
Deserted and ruined
Walk I in the bitter rain
With a ceaseless pain
And thus my story
Sadly ended before an elated start

Submitted: Tuesday, November 13, 2012

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  • Rookie - 0 Points Saeed Jan (11/16/2012 12:46:00 PM)

    Romantic... True felt feelings... Poetry transports and this piece truly does the same... one going through this feels his soul out... a lonely soul standing in fizz and yearning for the past.. The Pain U have today is because of the happiness U had before...
    the flow is nice and the scene created is the best of its type... very mature indeed... The flow of thought and the softness of diction is matchless...
    Exquisite piece of poetry Jahan... Keep it up! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie King Big Head (11/16/2012 8:08:00 AM)

    Very sad, some people can wait, and walk in the
    rain for a life time. But not me, for I am King Big Head
    the best poet in the world. Everybody loves me and
    can't wait to be with me, so they tend to get there early.
    When I turn up they just tell me how fantastic I am.
    And I must agree with them, I am fantastic.

    Your King. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 781 Points Thomas A Robinson (11/13/2012 4:39:00 PM)

    The cold bitter rain fuels the pain.And the fire burns cold in your heart of memories.
    But the rain is sacred, washes away and cleanses the soul. And all the memories
    are now dried and folded away for future keepsake. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (11/13/2012 9:43:00 AM)

    This actually made me cry! Just the fact that you went there knowing you would not meet up, but to remember her. No umbrella, cry as the rain cries with you! X x x x x x (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,774 Points * Sunprincess * (11/13/2012 8:36:00 AM)

    oh jahan this one i can picture so vividly and i know the feeling
    of the waiting..maybe she will come and visit in your dream..
    i sure hope so, it will somehow bring you peace..your friend sunprincess (Report) Reply

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