The most brilliant poems I have ever read and it is so refreshing, it brakes all stereotypes, I am humbled beyond words and expression. A man from the orient could write with such sensitivity and such depth, marvellous. Starting with the flowers and then connecting with a jug of wine, leaping to ones shadow as an Independant being and then the moon as a participant, so fresh thinking, so wild, so magnetic, it is ancient in its roots and so modern in its feel, like a young woman, dressed to reveal and yet her eyes conceal.
I like this poem. It brings me to places where I am alone. Sometimes I drink wine alone, and I enjoyed more when my companions talk on diverse things going to nothing. This is a poem of all times.
I would like to say that i enjoyed the poem, and furthermore Straw's mild adaptation made it a little easier to feel and understand what was trying to be portrayed. Words may be substituted when translated because what word works in one language may not fit the emotion in another. Thusly Olivarez, i feel that although Straw could easily have chosen kinder words to explain, he is right. Side note the K is by the L on almost all keyboards so he likely typed in a rush to post and move on, not noticing his mild mistake.
Unfortunately as I told you in our private letter, you seem to have appointed yourself the Judge Jury and Executioner for all of us on poemhunter and you also believe you know better than all the great poets, because you always change their words and substitute your own. I think you are just arrogant, and full of yourself. Nuff said.
Okivarez - I was not changing a great poet's work, I was trying to better a fourth rate translator's translation. What you are saying is that no poem or translation can be faulted, that they are all perfect. What you want is that we all leave our critical faculties in the cupboard when we read poetry. Your attitude is, in a word, stupid. I suggest you wake up and smell the coffee, and bring your mind along with you when you read poetry!
Olivarez - If you had an ear and an eye you would see that this translation clunks along like an old jalopy. What you are saying is that every poem and every translation cannot be faulted. I suggest you wake up and smell the coffee!
You can no more change a great poets work by using your own words(that is the worst kind of egotism) as you can change a great story like Wuthering Heights and make it a movie. It has always astonished me that people think they know better than the author of the piece. I am sure the person or persons that translated the piece know so much better. Like Pope when he had The Odyssey translated, he hired the best translators he did not fly by the seat of his pants, or did additions and corrections on the spurr of the moment.
I feel lonely without you.
I drink my wine alone.
The moon could not replace you.
My own shadow tried the same.
The three of us are missing you.
We swore to meet again.
in the place where we can see you
In heaven or in the Milky-Way.
What a wonderful way to hide the wine, a sweet adventure in the finding. To celebrate Li Po, we must arrange a festive open air drinking, and salute him in song. To invite the moon and shadow to drink with us, is a real love of La Luna, and inviting all the stars of the Milky Way is most serene. High in the mountains on a spring or even a cold winter’s night, far from civilization and pollution, you do not even have to drink to be drunk upon celestial wonder. ‘The Taste Of Wine’, ‘A Cup Of Wine Would I Give Thee’, so many poems celebrating the grape. What a party we could have drinking listening to the best of them. Raising our glasses to them in friendship and appreciation. This was a poem to get drunk upon. Cheers.
I would give you wine and song
to bless the startling memory
of first reborn celestial day,
veiled in radiance, you came along
I feel lonely without you
I drink my wine alone
The moon could not replace you
My own shadow did the same
The three of us are missing you
We swore to meet again
It is only where we see you
In heaven or in the Milky-Way.