' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Alternative Hamlets(A Tanka Or Two For Me Auld Pal Al) - Poem by Dónall Dempsey
'No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool.'
Eliot's Mr. Prufrock in his famous LOVE SONG.
I stared to wonder what if it all went right...what if Hamlet got old...would it be the same. What kind of guy was Hamlet anyway...kind or the most unkindest guy of all. In some universe or other did it all get played out different. Bored out of my mind I decided to send my mind to find out...to tanka or not to tanka...ah that is the question!
SHAKESPEARE’S MOST UNSUCCESSFUL PLAY
Hamlet: where it all
goes right. He does the right thing.
Kills King. Ties the knot
weds Oph...lots of kids. Poor Shakes
nothing to write home about.
CHIT & CHAT
Hamlet & Prufrock
have tea & cakes & ices.
“Did you know old chap
that T.S. Eliot’s name’s
an anagram of toilets? ”
CHAT & CHIT
Hamlet: sits at home
Friday night orders a pizza
has a beer or two
calls up Prufrock for a chat.
Ah! Where did it all go right?
HOW IT HAPPEND...REALLY.
Hamlet: Mammy’s boy.
Ghost was all just a bad dream
Uncle has stroke – dies.
Mum becomes nun. He marries
Ophelia. And that’s...that.
Hamlet plays darts, farts.
Proud owner of beer belly
reads SUN...visits Mum.
Holidays in Ibiza.
Cheers on Denmark in World Cup.
DEAR MR. SHAKESPEARE I AM SORRY BUT YOUR MANUSCRIPT...
Eliot writes his
LOVE SONG OF MR. HAMLET.
Shakespeare writes his
J.R. PRUFROCK THE GREAT DANE.
They both get nowhere – failures.
“HELLO AND WELCOME TO TONGIHT’S SHOW
THAT IS THE QUESTION! ”
with Hamlet on Gerry Springer.
Bouncers separate them.
“You mother....! ” “No...I never! ”
Discover they love one another.
HAMLET SUES SHAKESPEARE
Hamlet: sorry now
he asked his best mate Shakespeare
to do the family
history as he the poet
embellished what he wrote. Damn!
MAKING A FORTUNE OUT OF SHAKESPEARE
Hamlet: fat & rich
Made a fortune in tourism
Thanks to Mr. Shakes
most famous play BRIAN THE DANE
flogs timeshares in Elsinore.
THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER ON THE OTHER PAGE IS ALWAYS GREENER
Hamlet is watching
J. Alfred Prufrock
try to be (or not)
Be: him. Interesting.
And me trying to be him.
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