Dónall Dempsey

(15/07/56 / Curragh Camp, Co. Kildare, Eire.)

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ALTERNATIVE HAMLETS(A TANKA OR TWO FOR ME AULD PAL AL)


'No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool.'


Eliot's Mr. Prufrock in his famous LOVE SONG.


I stared to wonder what if it all went right...what if Hamlet got old...would it be the same. What kind of guy was Hamlet anyway...kind or the most unkindest guy of all. In some universe or other did it all get played out different. Bored out of my mind I decided to send my mind to find out...to tanka or not to tanka...ah that is the question!

*******

SHAKESPEARE’S MOST UNSUCCESSFUL PLAY

Hamlet: where it all
goes right. He does the right thing.
Kills King. Ties the knot
weds Oph...lots of kids. Poor Shakes
nothing to write home about.

*******

CHIT & CHAT

Hamlet & Prufrock
have tea & cakes & ices.
“Did you know old chap
that T.S. Eliot’s name’s
an anagram of toilets? ”

*******

CHAT & CHIT

Hamlet: sits at home
Friday night orders a pizza
has a beer or two
calls up Prufrock for a chat.
Ah! Where did it all go right?

*******

HOW IT HAPPEND...REALLY.

Hamlet: Mammy’s boy.
Ghost was all just a bad dream
Uncle has stroke – dies.
Mum becomes nun. He marries
Ophelia. And that’s...that.


*******
OUR HAMLET

Hamlet plays darts, farts.
Proud owner of beer belly
reads SUN...visits Mum.
Holidays in Ibiza.
Cheers on Denmark in World Cup.


*******

DEAR MR. SHAKESPEARE I AM SORRY BUT YOUR MANUSCRIPT...

Eliot writes his
LOVE SONG OF MR. HAMLET.
Shakespeare writes his
J.R. PRUFROCK THE GREAT DANE.
They both get nowhere – failures.

******

“HELLO AND WELCOME TO TONGIHT’S SHOW
THAT IS THE QUESTION! ”

Shakespeare confronted
with Hamlet on Gerry Springer.
Bouncers separate them.
“You mother....! ” “No...I never! ”
Discover they love one another.

*******

HAMLET SUES SHAKESPEARE

Hamlet: sorry now
he asked his best mate Shakespeare
to do the family
history as he the poet
embellished what he wrote. Damn!

*******

MAKING A FORTUNE OUT OF SHAKESPEARE

Hamlet: fat & rich
Made a fortune in tourism
Thanks to Mr. Shakes
most famous play BRIAN THE DANE
flogs timeshares in Elsinore.

*******

THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER ON THE OTHER PAGE IS ALWAYS GREENER

Hamlet is watching
J. Alfred Prufrock
try to be (or not)
Be: him. Interesting.
And me trying to be him.

Submitted: Friday, August 28, 2009
Edited: Monday, August 31, 2009

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Comments about this poem (' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ALTERNATIVE HAMLETS(A TANKA OR TWO FOR ME AULD PAL AL) by Dónall Dempsey )

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  • Rookie - 12 Points Kerry O'Connor (8/29/2009 7:07:00 AM)

    Excellent work, Donall. I so enjoyed reading it. If that's what you do when you're bored, it beats counting out your life in coffee spoons! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 392 Points Bull Hawking (8/28/2009 3:44:00 PM)

    This is such great fun......laughed my 'r's' off.......I love playing a_ound with Hamlet too (but I wouldn't want to play him or be him) ....One of me favo_ite cha_acters in the play is Fo_tinbras since he is such a sha_p cha_acter and he embodies two of my favo_ite things that are both sha_p too! ! ! also he wins the kingdom in the end without having to kill anyone thus ushe_ing in the age of killingless wars(we can fantacize too Billy-boy)

    thanks again
    g (Report) Reply

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