ONElia AVElar

Rookie - 12 Points (Bulgaria)

Aloud


Candy words
melting in your mouth.
Too proud
to say them aloud?
Yet you sigh,
you moan out loud.
Still they find a way
to leave, though
you did not mean
to dropp them out.
And you hope,
all will vaporize unheard -
lapses of an eager heart...

Submitted: Thursday, November 13, 2008
Edited: Saturday, November 15, 2008

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Comments about this poem (Aloud by ONElia AVElar )

  • Veteran Poet - 1,064 Points Tiku . (6/17/2011 7:37:00 AM)

    very nice.short and to the point.liked it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ivor Hogg (1/7/2009 2:32:00 PM)

    Perhaps he is tongue tied in your presence (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tsira Goge (12/3/2008 11:27:00 AM)

    lapses of an eager heart...
    .......................................

    Clever and warm poem... 10.....
    Tsira (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tara very irritated with PH injustice (11/23/2008 11:10:00 AM)

    Unique imagery in your first two lines alone had me engrossed, and I was right to be so..... t x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Reshma Ramesh (11/22/2008 6:31:00 AM)

    superb work................well penned (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (11/19/2008 4:01:00 AM)

    Unique use of metaphor. I like what you see from your own
    personal window on the world. Excellent work.

    Warm regards,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Janice Windle (11/18/2008 6:00:00 PM)

    Moving and as someone else has said, a little anguished. You describe so well the disturbing sense that a lover is holding back the very words that would make you trust, and so making you mistrust, perhaps because they don't trust themselves. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello (11/15/2008 7:27:00 AM)

    These candy words are a little told a little untold. As regards the usual, the style is a little different: dry, mature, anguished. How the first poems are far! However how the past returns in these dynamics! PH is changing, many things are vanishing, Mrs. Avelar always deserves our regard and our affection (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Original Unknown Girl (11/14/2008 5:39:00 AM)

    Very pretty presentation of how an ordinary occurrence can somehow become illuminated in our minds. The final 3 lines are blinding, the imagery of vapourising is superb! Love it Onelia. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 92 Points C. P. Sharma (11/14/2008 3:24:00 AM)

    Wow, a dramatically captured state of mind with heart in it.
    CP (Report) Reply

  • Rookie R.k Das (11/14/2008 1:44:00 AM)

    nice poem
    to fall back upon
    again and again
    and the more you read it aloud
    the more silently it pervades
    one's sensibility.
    liked it very much... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Blue Eyes (11/13/2008 4:34:00 PM)

    very nice poem, i loved it truely. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Emancipation Planz (11/13/2008 3:51:00 PM)

    Lovely ONe.. tis like chewing watermelon flavoured bubblegum... you can't help but work your tongue to seek the formation of the biggest bubble.. out.. then POP... loud and clear.. you do it over.. aroha xx (Report) Reply

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