All I Wanted Was To Make You Proud Poem by Evelyn Castillo

This fire in my blood
This fire in my eyes

The fire that come shooting,
right out of my damned mouth.

This fire of the rage!
This fire of the pain.

This fire of the anger,
that is burning in my head

I feel all the hatred
I feel so damn used

Walked through streets so flooded,
to get a glimpse of you

I got nothing of you
I didn't even get a look

The closest i was to you,
was the radiation from my phone

I don't know what i was doing
I wasn't thinking straight

Just thought that you'd be happy
If i was really there

I thought that you'd be angered
And would say i didn't care

I risked my life!
I risked my health.

My family was in second place

You were first through my mind
You were my main concern

To make you happy was my wish..
It didn't come true

I feel crushed and devastated
I guess hard enough, i didn't try

It's my fault your ankles broken,
When the sirens sound, I start to cry

Did you want to see me?
Do you really care?

What if i'd been stolen?
What if i'd been raped?

Well, it would of been
all of my damned fault

I shouldn't take a risk
For things that don't matter

I took a risk for you
My life was on the line

I didn't even think it twice
About me, i didn't give a damn

All i wanted was to see you
I wanted to know you were alright

I wanted to make you happy
I wanted to make you proud

That you knew you had a girlfriend that was there,
no matter what

But apparently i wasn't there
I guess i wasn't at all

So maybe you want better
Someone that's truly there

No matter what...

I'm not good enough now
And maybe i deserved to be drenched.

Maybe i deserved to shed every tear that i shed
Maybe i deserved the cuts on my hands

Maybe i deserved it
Maybe I'm a waste

And at the end of it all,
who am I to blame? ..

No one but myself..