Alicia Poem by victoria martinez

She holds every secret I have
She knows every moment of my failure
Looks at me with disappointed eyes
The tears she bears, as if I have forsaken her
Turned my back, got off the right track
Always searching for more, trying to make this youth last
Holding those times when; we didn’t care, too close to my heart
Destroy all of what we could have been
Whispers of fantasy, whispers of who we hated
Never knowing if tomorrow would come
High wasn’t and altitude it came from drugs
I don’t know the last time I was sober
I can’t recall the last time I felt something other than hunger
I can’t recall the last time I slept for rest and not to come off easy
And the last time I spoke the truth was when I paid for the 20 sack
I know when we sat on that couch
I know when we sat on your bed
I know when we would sit outside
No feelings ever refrained
I just didn’t know what to feel
And as I started to come off my high
My eyes would once again lose that perfection light
Once again I would see everything for what it was
Time to smoke again I just couldn’t deal with life
I cant remember the last time I looked her in the eyes
And I don’t remember the last time I felt fine
I seem to forget a lot always being high
I seem to forget to hug her tell her I love her
And I know some day I’m going to turn around
Be all alone
Whose fault other than my own?