Afterword Poem by Lucienne Kim Flavell

Another terrific poem. 'Crumpled soil' IS GREAT. Pay no attention to the NON-poets. I like the two line approach as well. Gives the poem it's machine gun tempo which is perfect with your theme of death. You and Mark Challenger are the best on here now.

i read the comments below. i didn't have a problem with two line format, or with crumpled, but i'm american so who cares what i think! i liked it. i see you write horror stuff? check out my halloween approaches poem if you will. thanks for sharing. you certainly know how to talk about a LARGE body without saying it is one.

So raw and deep. I've read it three times because I want to be sure. Am reading between the lines, adding a few words, and I feel as though there was tremendous suffering and hurt, self-loathing, and regret. This is a very special piece for your first posting, I am very impressed. Great Ink! -Kelly.

There are problems for me in this poem... a two lined approach but best use is not made of the two lines... ideas are not contained within the two lines to a sound pattern, nor are the two lines used to create flow fully... there are jerks of thought instead. The third stanza does not work, as such, for example. Also problem with 'crumpled soil' which jarred... 'crumpled'? Is that the best word? However it is original and clever... keep writing.

Certainly very dark, but an unusual and interesting write.