Laura Elizabeth Richards

(1850-1943 / the United States)

After A Visit ToThe Natural History Museum


This is the Wiggledywasticus,
Very remarkable beast.
Nose to tail an eighth of a mile;
Took him an acre or two to smile;
Took him a quarter 'f an hour to wink;
Swallowed a pond for his morning drink
Oh! would it had been vouchsafed to us
Upon the Wiggledywasticus
Our wondering eyes to feast!

This is the Ptoodlecumtumpsydyl,
Rather unusual bird.
Hand a mouth before and behind;
Ate whichever way he'd a mind;
Spoiled his digestion, so they say,
Pindled and dwindled quite away,
Or else he might have been living still,
The singular Ptoodlecumtumpsydyl.
A pity, upon my word!

This is the Ichthyosnortoryx,
Truly astonishing fish.
Used to snort in a terrible way;
Scared the lobsters to death, they say;
Had a nose like a tea-kettle spout;
Broke it snorting, and so died out.
Sad! if he had n't got into this fix,
We might have made of the 'Snortoryx
A very acceptable dish.

Submitted: Friday, September 03, 2010

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