Adulthood: A Decade And A Half Plus One Poem by David Knox

A decade and a half plus one
let me tell you its been fun
and what i mean by that
is simply there has been much change and upheaval
a battle against latent evil
let me tell you, its a constant combat
the principal enemy myself, and the tools of war: the temptation and soul
I am grateful each day, that one day i was made new
that finally i gave up that control
of my life in exchange for a new life, and a purpose, so i could know who
i was and what i was supposed to do, and it is today
that i ponder and reflect and say
i am glad that i am changed, because
i have my flaws
but certainly i had more flaws
i was overcome by evil, and by nature lived to be selfish
with my only wish
to glorify myself, you see I'd help you
and be your friend too
because it made me feel good, not because i had any sort of care
or love or devotion, surely that is something that should scare
anyone because each good deed was done with malice
surely that is worse than being callous
i was that man that the Good Book warned of: with 'an illusion
of Godliness.' living under a delusion
following a god, with only half my heart, hating with the other
hating even my brother
i walked around with my depression and bottled it all inside
sometimes when i would hide
it'd spill out onto the paper
and then float out as if vapor
I was a 'double-minded man'
with no purpose and no plan
praise be to God that now I'm changed
somehow
right now
sixteen feels grown up, not just because of trials thrust upon me
but because now i see,
from where God took this shell
how He gave it life and purpose and redeemed it from literal hell
on earth because we know 'That he who has the Son has life but
he who does not have the Son of God does not have life' its time
a decade and a half and one
it seems I'm all grown up now, but not of myself, nothing new under the sun
and yet, I've been made new, and He who lives in me
He is grown up, sorry if you disagree
because of His presence I am now whole
because of the One i extol
I have been made more than new, because since the adult is inside
i need not hide, for i am grown all up
a decade and a half and one
this is me: there's half a person who became one, and then one and one