Adolescent' Poem by Wes Matthews

We’re talking through technology, look at the irony.
I’m going to let you inside my brain, it might seem kind of insane.
When I look at you I feel hatred, I know.. it seems twisted.
I hate all this sneaking.
Just hear me out mister.
You don’t need to support what I do,
Just need to put some faith in me,
Believe in me.

But, if I was in your shoes…
I understand what my kid is doing,
I would let him live his life.
I would talk to him about these times.
Cause you see his priorities are straight.
He's making good grades.
Yeah, he smokes a little Mary Jane.
That does make him sane.
But, he stays in his lane.
You have to be stupid to not be able to tell that it's laced.
Your God wouldn’t hate,
I bet he could relate.

Dad,
I just wish we could be closer mans..

Searching for my father, why bother?
We don’t even speak it seems, You’re always controlling me.
You seem like a stranger, I barely know ya.
I havn't heard any stories from your life,
All you always talk about is the good times.
It makes me think you’re perfect.
And, I’m worthless.
But, dad..
I hear your advice, I see your guidance.
It won’t persuade me.

Let me persuade you.
Let me tell you the truth.

You got three kids..
A junkie, a dropout, and me.

We all smoke weed.

Cause, you see I won’t be them.
They made their choices, WE will always support them.
It’s hypocritical man.
Cause once I was depressed,
It really was a mess.
Wouldn’t leave my room,
Couldn’t even open up to you.

Dad, I love you.

But, you’ve been pushing me to the edge,
I won’t jump off the ledge.
I got anxiety, I’m not lying.
My mind is always frantic.
So, smoke a little chronic.
It helps me relax, I even get a laugh.
I get things done. I’m able to open up.
Be myself, I don’t feel worthless.

I just want to make memories,
I won’t stay inside.
There are no more excuses,
no more hiding,
no more lying.
I get high.

And, I will remain happy.
Finally, that word is in my life.
I’m going to be me.
Not who you want me to be.
You say observe your brothers, learn from them.
When really I’ve been learning from you.
You’ve done the same parenting all these years,
If you keep to these ways you’ll lose another son.
We’ve been through the same things since day one.
That has an effect.
But, like I said..
I’m no longer depressed.

Jay didn’t start smoking till the end of 12th grade.
Who is he? Who am I? Who are you?
We’re family. We’re all we got.
Suppose that this is the plot.

You accept the fact we all smoke pot.
I don’t have to hide who I am,
We can actually have a conversation dad.
That would make me really glad,
You tell me I need to see a therapist,
When really I need to see you.
I need your positivity, not your negativity.
I need your guidance, not your judgement.
But, let me make my life choices..
Just how I make the one when to see ma.

Pops, listen to my advice.
You’ve been fighting this war with us for too long.
It’s no longer a battle, it’s reform.
Decriminalization.

I know who I am going to be, I know what it takes to succeed.
This is me taking charge for once in my life.
I won’t be pushed around, you’ve done that my whole life with ma.
I’m breaking the chains, and setting myself free.
Dad, you made a genius and I’m going to take that advantage,

Man who am I?