Abecedarian To A Dead Mother Poem by Judy Meibach

Angry at you because you did not really pay attention to me.
Because you did not know how to show your love, because you
Criticized me and chastised me for all the things that I
Did or did not do. You made me feel like I was not
Equal to my peers. I felt
Frightened to be around my peers. I feel
Giddy at times when I am around them because they make me
Happy - Happy to be alive. You made me feel
Insignificant. Not proud to be
Judy.
Kindred spirits came through for me - people actually
Like me. They enjoy
My company
Not afraid to be seen with me, like you are, even though I am
Obese. They want to help me. He, in particular thinks I am
Pretty. He does not think I am
Queer like you. We have a
Romantic relationship. He loves me. We had a
Sexual relationship. We love being
Together - maybe forever.
Unlike you, who made me feel ugly and did not want to be
With me.
You made me
Very unhappy and insecure.
Why?
(e) Xplain this to me - why have I spend years in therapy
trying to deal with the effects of
Your behaviors. Why did you behave me towards me like I was
better off in a
Zoo?