A Walking Suicide Poem by John Thorkild Ellison

I'm a walking suicide,
God knows I've tried
To live a normal life,
To love my wife
And kids, to be the dad
That lots of kids have never had,
But deep inside
I can't live up to the tears I've cried,
I can't be the man they want me to be,
I can't be a cog in society,
Call it my foolish pride!
I'd rather have died
Than be what they want me to be,
To serve with obedience and humility,
God knows I've tried and tried,
I'm just a walking suicide!